A Time of ReBirth
by RiverCity
Summary: COMPLETE Story begins just after Alexis' sister dies. And Alexis and Sonny begin to find their way back to each other. Sonny and Alexis
1. A Time of ReBirth

Chapter 1  
  
"How did we get here? We had so much time ahead of us; so much more to share with each other. I finally had someone who loved me unconditionally. Having you with me again somehow became my redemption for not protecting you when momma told me to. For once in my life I was given a second chance to right a wrong. How could I have taken this gift I was given and treated it so carelessly? I did love you. I loved you so much."  
  
Alexis stood beside the golden ornate casket that held her sister's precious body. She had allowed Ned to make all of the arrangements alone. Leaving her sister's side never entered her mind; was not even an option she entertained for a moment. She stayed in the morgue watching over Kristina until her body was taken to be prepared for burial and stood outside the door until they were done. She stayed at the funeral home through the viewing, through the last of the preparations and was now waiting for the service to begin. Ned brought her clean clothes and asked that Felicia stay with her and watch over her. She refused to leave her sister's side.  
  
Alexis was exhausted. But, through it all, the terror, the pain, the tears, the anger, the loss; it was her child that sustained her. She had to remain strong, she had to care for her child. Through some miracle of fate she was given another gift and this time she would not fail. This time she would protect what was hers from any threat or harm... real or perceived. Her child would live a safe and long life.  
  
"Alexis?"  
  
Slowly turning recognizing the voice behind her, Alexis felt her anger rise. How dare he?  
  
"You need to go."  
  
"Please, Alexis."  
  
"Please what? Please forgive you? Please be your friend? Or maybe, please Alexis, I need a favor. I don't have anything to give you, Sonny. You've taken it all. You've taken it all and left me nothing but a future without the one person who loved me without judgement... without condition."  
  
"I'm sorry, Alexis."  
  
"And I don't want to hear it. Just go."  
  
"I can't leave you like this."  
  
"Oh, but you are so mistaken. You've left me like this before. You've left me broken and bleeding before and never looked back. If I had only listened to my real friends; if I had only listened to my sister maybe she would be alive right now and I wouldn't be standing here wishing I had never laid eyes on you."  
  
She watched as each one of her accusations hit their mark. She watched his body jerk in agony at the anger and grief he saw in her, but at that moment she didn't care. She wanted him far away from her. She may not have saved Kristina from his life but, she would see to it that her child would be saved. She would keep her promise to her sister. Her daughter would be born and she would carry her Aunt's name. She noticed Ned enter the chapel and motioned him to join her.  
  
"Ned, would you please see that Sonny is escorted from the chapel. He has no business here. His presence is an insult to my sister's memory."  
  
Ned looked searchingly at Alexis, trying to gauge if she was calm enough for him to quickly see to her request. Watching as she turned her back, he noticed her back straighten with resolve and knew she would be ok for a few moments without him. Turning to Sonny with a cold deadly gaze he addressed the man that had once again destroyed his life.  
  
"Ok, tough guy, time for you to go. You've done enough damage here today. Go home or go find somebody else's life to destroy. I don't think there is enough left here for you to get your kicks out of destroying. You did a bang up job this time. You finally destroyed the one person who actually thought you were worth something. You did yourself proud this time."  
  
"Ned, I asked you to escort him out; not turn my sister's funeral into your own private war zone."  
  
Alexis listened to every word Ned leveled at Sonny and although she knew Ned was suffering and needed to release his own rage against Sonny, somehow his words were piercing her own heart. She needed to get control of the situation and she needed to do it quickly.  
  
"If you can't get him out of here without making a scene then I'll find someone who can."  
  
Sonny took in every word from her, he watched every move of her body; he tried to meet her eyes to see into their depths. He needed to connect with her to let her know... what? What did he want her to know from him in that one moment?  
  
"Alexis, I will respect your wishes. I am leaving, but I am not giving up. I will see you again. When you have calmed down; when you have had a chance to think..."  
  
"SHUT UP. Just shut up. Look at him Ned, he can't see it. He really has no clue. He just simply does not see how totally cruel he can be. SONNY, HEY SONNY," clapping her hands in front of his face in an exaggerated attempt to try to get through to him, Alexis let go of the words she had held so long.  
  
"You are simply clueless. How could you have spent so much time with me, how could we have spent so much time together and you stand here clueless about the one woman who believed in you? I gave you everything. You had all of me. Every tear I shed with you, every painful memory, every secret, my hopes, my dreams, everything that I am I gave to you. I loved you and you turned your back on me. You tore my heart out. What more do you want from me? Haven't you taken enough?"  
  
As the words spilled from her Alexis lost the ability to stand on her own and leaned heavily against Ned. She had held it all so long and when the dam finally broke the flood came and she couldn't stop it. Looking up at Ned she saw the tears on his face and immediately felt ashamed at what her tirade cost him.  
  
"NED, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean...to...I...am so sorry."  
  
Turning her back on both men she stepped closer to the casket that held Kristina. Thinking of how her sister would have reacted to that glimpse of truth caused a brief smile to touch her face. 'What do you think of that, Kristina? Maybe you left me more of you than I thought you did. Maybe it is time for a little truth. But just a little. My secret will remain mine.'  
  
"Alexis, I didn't know."  
  
Whipping around with renewed anger Alexis bore down on Sonny with a vengeance.  
  
"NO, you didn't want to know. It was all there. Just waiting for you to see it. You chose not to. You had your own agenda to attend to and to hell with anyone else. Well thank you very much, your agenda cost me my sister. Now, GET OUT!"  
  
"Alexis, wait..."  
  
"You heard her Corinthos. It's time you left. If you need help we will be more than willingly to oblige you."  
  
Sonny turned at the voice behind him and took a step back at the sight before him. He watched as the procession walked quietly past him and stood behind Alexis. It was quite a sight and any other time he would have found it vaguely amusing, but this time he felt defeated. A wall of hate now stood behind Alexis in the form of Ned, Jax, Stephan, Nicholas, Luke, Lucky, Mac and Taggert. They all stood ready to defend and protect her against him. How did it get so far out of hand? It was no use. This time, looking at Alexis, he knew there was no way to deflect or defend himself. Seeing the pain in her eyes, the dead way she looked at him tore through him like white fire.  
  
Stepping back and turning to go, he looked back once more at her entourage and nodded his understanding that Alexis had enough support to get her through the day. Not willing to leave without trying to leave the door of communication open between them he quietly left her with the only words he could.  
  
"I'm not giving up Alexis, I'm just breathing. Gentlemen, I leave her care to you...for now."  
  
Sonny began the long walk back down the aisle toward the door and didn't look back again.  
  
Hearing his quietly spoken words, Alexis slowly lifted her eyes and watched Sonny walk out of the chapel. Looking over her shoulder to Jax she cautiously and quietly asked...  
  
"Jax? Did you hear him? Did you hear what he said?" 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
"Johnny, get Benny. I want him here NOW."  
  
Sonny had just come from the chapel. Walking over to the bar he picked up a glass and studied it for a moment. All he could see in the reflection of the glass was 'her' face. Closing his eyes against it he walked toward the balcony and gazed at the skyline wondering if it was possible to feel this much agony and still be able to survive. It tore at him that what he felt could not possibly measure what she must be feeling now. The pain he saw in her eyes when she looked at him made him shrink inside knowing he was the cause of it. Hearing the glass in his hand shatter he looked down and saw blood pooling on the floor at his feet. He did not realize he was grasping the glass so tightly and the numbness that had settled inside since hearing her rail against him kept him from feeling the shards of glass slicing into his palm.  
  
Whispering softly to himself he spoke to the emptiness of the room, "I will make this right, Alexis. I promise you. I will make this right. I cannot bring her back to you, but I swear on my mother's grave, I will make this up to you somehow, someway, if it takes the rest of my life."  
  
"Sonny? I didn't know you were home yet. When did you get back?"  
  
Sonny turned just enough to see Carly come in from the kitchen. Reaching into his back pocket he took out his handkerchief and wrapped it around his palm to stop the flow of blood.  
  
"I just got in. Where's Michael, Carly?"  
  
"Sonny, what did you do? Your hand is bleeding. Come here, let me fix it."  
  
"Carly, where's Michael?"  
  
"Oh he's with Letitia, at the park, I think."  
  
Sonny felt the rage building inside and made a conscious effort to calm down. In the past his anger only served to make things worse. He knew that. Alexis often reminded him when he began to lose control. But, more than that, she showed him how destructive his anger could be without making him feel less, without taking his pride away from him. Without judging him. She had never taken anything from him. Looking back up at Carly he took a step back as his mind began playing tricks on him. There was Carly... but Alexis was there as well... standing right beside her. Shaking his head to clear it, he looked up again and regretfully only Carly remained. In that fractured moment he felt a tremendous sense of loss and closed his eyes against it. Examining his own thoughts he wondered what was in him that could have generated that level of emotion. But, as had become his custom lately he quickly shut the door of his mind and heart. The answers were there, but he couldn't face them. 'No I won't do this. I can't. Things are they way they are. This is my life; the one I chose. I have to live with the consequences.' Refocusing on Carly and forcing himself to once again accept her as his wife he walked back to the bar and poured himself a drink.  
  
"You think he is at the park, Carly? Do you remember me telling you how dangerous it is out there right now? Does it not phase you that your son is an open target; that you are an open target? Two days ago it was Kristina Cassadine who died, do you want to be next. Do you want it to be Michael next? What is it going to take to get through to you?"  
  
"He's got bodyguards with him, Sonny. I can't keep him closed up in the penthouse all day with nothing to do. He gets bored."  
  
"Do you interact with him at all? Do you spend any time with him at all? Carly, he is your son, a part of you. Does that mean anything to you?"  
  
"Ok Sonny, I get that you're upset. I know you're taking the blame for what happened to Kristina Cassadine, but that does not give you the right to attack me."  
  
"I'M NOT ATTACKING YOU!"  
  
As always now, it was like a roman candle. The fire that smoldered just below the surface all of a sudden burst out into the open unable to be harnessed, unable to be retrieved. His anger erupted without warning. He no longer had control of it and knew he needed to get out of there before he did any real damage.  
  
"I'm sorry, Carly. I need a little time. I'll go get Michael. We'll meet you back here and I'll fix dinner for us."  
  
"Sonny, wait. I'll go with you. We'll go together."  
  
Reaching the door he turned to face Carly and had to grab hold of the doorframe to keep his knees from buckling under him. There she was... again; standing next to Carly. Silently he breathed her name, 'Alexis'. Bowing his head under the weight of grief her image brought him he raised his hand to stop Carly from coming any closer and walked out the door alone.  
  
Reaching street level below the penthouse he turned to the right and started walking. Pulling his cellphone from his pocket he called Letitia and told her to return with Michael to the penthouse for the evening. Replacing his phone he became aware that he had stopped walking and was absently focusing on his shoes. Blood. There was blood on his shoes. 'Where did the blood come from?' His mind was jumbled, chaotic. He was having trouble concentrateing on a single thought. All he could see was 'her'. All he knew was 'her'.  
  
What is... pain, where is it coming from? He felt an ache... a dull insistent ache. Lifting his hand to rub his temple he noticed the handkerchief still wrapped around his palm and nodded unconciously. The glass. He remembered the glass cutting him as it gave way beneath his pain and anger. Lowering his hand and refocusing on his shoes he willed himself to put one foot in front of the other and continue his lonely walk. He didn't know where he was going; he didn't care. He just needed air; needed to feel free again. He had felt trapped for so long... like a caged animal pacing back and forth within the confines of a prison cell.  
  
He walked for what seemed hours. He walked past the Port Charles hotel, past Kelly's, past the warehouse and on toward the edge of town. And then just as he was about to turn and make his way back; a long line of cars caught his eye, the crowd surrounding a covered tent. And Alexis. Moving quietly behind the nearest tree, he watched her. She sat between Jax and Ned. They had always been by her side. No matter what was going on in her life, the two of them stood by her, fought for her, fought with her. They loved her. Making sure he kept under cover he moved forward. He needed to be closer; nearer to 'her'.  
  
The service had already ended, and yet no one moved. They were waiting for her. They respected her enough to stay with her as long as she needed them to. As long as she needed to stay with her sister this one last time. Grudgingly he gave his respect to the two men who sat beside her. They gave her more in the last few months than he had in all the time he had known her and she never once did she regret calling him friend... until that one moment. The moment he stole her beloved sister from her. What did it matter that her sister died at the hands of another; it was because of him that the circumstances of her death existed in the first place. And it grieved him that once more an innocent life paid the price because he still walked free.  
  
He could only see her profile from where he stood, but he saw the moment she moved to stand. He saw her straighten her shoulders and lift her head in preparation to face the world again. Respecting her wish that he not be there he turned and quietly walked away.  
  


* * *

  
Placing a hand on each of her companions arms, Alexis squeezed lightly to let them know she was ready to go. Standing she turned and took one last look as the golden casket as it was being lowered then allowed Jax to lead her from the covered tent back toward the waiting car. Halfway there her step faltered and she stopped to regain her composure. Closing her eyes she whispered quietly to herself, "You can do this. You can do this. One foot in front of the other. You can do this."  
  
Lifting her head she opened her eyes and caught sight of 'him'. His back to her, he was quietly walking away. She saw the anguish in him. She saw the effort it was taking for him to put one foot in front of the other just as she was being forced to do. With all that had happened, there was still that one place in her heart that ached for him. 'How can I give him any more? What more will he take from me? ... Sonny ...' 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
"Alexis, can I get you anything?"  
  
"No, thank you Ned. I'm fine."  
  
"No you're not, but that's ok. I'm going to stay with you tonight. Here on the sofa. I don't want you to be alone."  
  
Studying her companion and sifting through all that he wasn't saying she narrowed the field of emotion down to one.  
  
"Don't you mean so that you, nor I will be alone tonight. Ned, I know how much you miss her. I know how angry you are. And Ned, part of that anger you feel is at me."  
  
"No, Alexis. It's not."  
  
Smiling softly at him with tears in her eyes she picked up his hand and held it against her heart.  
  
"Don't you think our lies have cost us enough. You are angry with me and you have every right to be. How many times did you tell me that he would cost me dearly in the long run? You told me so many times to walk away and I wouldn't. I did this. It may have been his warehouse, his war, his lifestyle; but she was there because of me. And I will live with that the rest of my life."  
  
"Alexis, don't do this. Ok, I admit, I'm angry. And yes part of it is at you, but I'm tired of it all. I just want to let it all go. I loved her so much. She was everything to me and she taught me how to forgive. With all that we put her through, in the end just like always, she was there for us. She made sure we knew we were forgiven. Could I do any less?"  
  
Letting the tears fall she leaned toward him and laid her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Ned, hold me. Just hold me for a while please. I need to talk to someone and you're the only one who may be able to understand what I need to say. But, I need you to promise not to get any angrier with me. I have a problem that I don't know what to do about and I need it resolved."  
  
"It's Sonny, isn't it? You still love him, don't you?"  
  
Lifting her head from his shoulder she let go of his hands and clasped her own together in her lap. This wasn't going to be easy, but she needed to talk about him. She needed to find a way to let go. Looking back into the eyes of her friend she spoke very softly and hesitantly.  
  
"I don't know how to stop. I am so angry with him. I don't want him anywhere near me, or my child; but Ned, I do love him. Help me, Ned. Tell me what to do."  
  
Wrapping his arms around her he resigned himself to the fact that she would never be rid of Sonny. He had seen the way the two of them connected. As much as he resented it, he knew that she connected with Sonny in a way that she had never connected with him. It was a soul connection. It went beyond reason, beyond understanding. Leaning down to kiss the top of her head he let go of her and pushed her gently away from him.  
  
"I can't help you with this one, sweetheart. There are choices you will have to make. I know you love him and I know how deep that love for him is. I know because that's how I loved Kristina. It makes no sense, there is no reasoning with it, it is just simply a part of you. The depth of that love is so powerful that it has the ability to destroy you or lift you to heights you could never dream of. Don't misunderstand me, I don't want you anywhere near him, but that is not my choice to make. You have a child to think of now and I know that the child will always come first with you. You have time to think about what you want, we made sure of that with the lie that killed Kristina. Together we will share that burden for the rest of our lives. You have me to talk to anytime you need to. I will be here for you as long as you need me."  
  
Placing her hands on each side of his face she gently pulled him to her and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.  
  
"Thank you Ned, for understanding. I don't know what comes next, but for now I am safe and so is my child."  
  
Hearing a knock at the door she went to answer it and took a step back in surprise to find Mac Scorpio on her doorstep.  
  
"Mac, is there something I can do for you?"  
  
"I'm sorry to barge in on you like this after the funeral and all, but I have some information that you might want to know."  
  
"Come on in and have a seat. Can I get you anything?"  
  
"No, this won't take long and then I'll get out of your way."  
  
Allowing Mac to seat himself first, she returned to sit beside Ned who took her hand in his and gave Mac her full attention.  
  
"First, as much as I do not want to admit this, the current war on the docks was not started by Sonny Corinthos, however, that being said I need to warn you to stay away from him or anyone connected to him. There is something else going on here. This time it seems to be more personal than business." Mac stopped and paused. He needed to make another point with Alexis and he knew it was going to hurt her.  
  
"Alexis, Sonny put a hit out on Zander."  
  
"What? When? Where is Zander now?" Her heart sank. Zander. He was so young with so much potential; so full of life and dreams that reached far into his future. "Please tell me you stopped it, Mac."  
  
"No, Jason and Elizabeth did."  
  
"Jason?"  
  
"Yes. Seems Elizabeth asked him not to harm Zander and for some reason he complied."  
  
Rubbing the bridge of her nose Alexis frowned in concentration. Something wasn't adding up. How could Mac know all of this?  
  
"Mac, you're holding out on me. What are you not telling me? There is no way you could have information like that unless you had an informant."  
  
"Now Alexis, you know I can't tell you how I come up with certain information. It's not only for the department's protection, but for yours as well. This war is going to escalate and fast. Someone is out to get Sonny Corinthos and they are going to use anything and anyone they can to do it. This war is different somehow. Like I said this is personal. Corinthos is in a very vulnerable position right now. And he's not thinking straight."  
  
"Mac, I won't defend him this time. I can't. I've already lost too much because of my past relationship with him."  
  
"I know, Alexis. I am just telling you to stay as far away as possible. But, I also need you to know that Roy DiLucca and Felicia are involved in this war. So stay away from them as well."  
  
Glancing at Ned then back to Mac she let go of a heavy sigh. Felicia. She should have known. Her thoughts returned to the day she told Roy to find another lawyer. Felicia was there. She remembered thinking how familiar the words coming out of Felicia's mouth had sounded as she defended Roy. Her heart went out to Felicia at that moment hoping beyond hope that her worst fears would not be realized.  
  
"Mac, can you get a message to Felicia for me?"  
  
"Alexis, I don't think that is a good idea. You really need to keep your distance from all of this."  
  
"If I can hopefully keep Felicia from making the same mistakes I made then that is one step closer to redemption for me for my part in my sister's death. And just maybe I can make Felicia see the cost that would be required of her if she doesn't walk away now. Mac, I have to try. She has two daughters that she is not thinking of right now. Mac, please, I need to try."  
  
As Alexis begged for the chance to talk to Felicia the tears came again and she didn't try to hide them. She needed the chance to help Felicia. She needed to make a difference in someone's life. So much had been given to her. So many people had loved her, supported her. For Stephan, Chloe, for Jax, for Ned; but most of all for Kristina; she needed to make a difference. If she could only get through to Felicia the hopelessness of loving someone in that line of work... of loving someone who was so arrogant and self-absorbed that people got hurt simply by association... she had to try.  
  
"Please Mac."  
  
"All right Alexis. I'll get the message to her and I'll bring her here myself under complete cover. No one will know she's here and you won't know when to expect us. Ned, I'll need you to keep the same schedule you always have. If it's normal for you to be here round the clock, then don't change it. If I see any evidence of movement I'll call it all off."  
  
Ned began shifting uneasily. He didn't like the sound of this at all. He had already lost Kristina and he wasn't about to take any chances with Alexis or the child she was carrying. Putting his arm around her he lay his other hand against her cheek turning her face to him.  
  
"Alexis, please don't do this. Please don't place yourself in a position that could hurt you. I understand how much you want to help Felicia. But, you've lost enough already."  
  
"Ned, can't you see that I don't have any other choice here. I can't let her follow the same path I got caught up on if I can do anything to stop her. I can't let her lose her life or maybe one of her daughters like I lost Kristina. I just can't. She needs to see face to face what loving men like that can do to a person's life."  
  
Turning from Ned she clutched his hand in hers and addressed Mac. "I'll be ready whenever you show up. Just bring her as quickly as you can."  
  
"Ok, Alexis." Standing and offering his hands to Alexis he pulled her up in front of him so he could look directly into her eyes. "Stay away from the pier. Stay away from Sonny. Stay away from Zander. Protect yourself in every way and protect that baby. I'll personally let you know when you can relax. Ok?"  
  
"Thank you, Mac. You actually are a pretty decent guy, aren't you?"  
  
Mac grinned sheepishly at her and poked her in the shoulder. "Just don't let it get around. Only my friends know that about me."  
  
Laughing at the blush that graced his face Alexis winked at him. "Your secret is safe with me."  
  
Walking to the door with him she thanked him again. Closing the door behind him she turned to Ned who was staring at her full of concern. Raising her hands to keep him from starting an argument with her she walked back over to him and hugged him tightly. Releasing him and stepping back she placed her hands on his chest and looked at him pleadingly.  
  
"Ned, please let's not discuss this anymore. I have made up my mind. You should know me well enough by now to know that if I can prevent someone I care about from getting hurt, then that is what I will do. And you know, you could help if you wanted to."  
  
Knowing the battle was lost before he even opened his mouth he set his arms down on her shoulders and asked, "What can I do to help?"  
  
"You can make yourself scarce when Felicia gets here. I need to have a woman to woman talk with her and having you here would defeat the purpose. You know, you being a man and all. I'll call you when it's over and let you know how it went. Deal?"  
  
"Alright. Deal." 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Sonny was pacing back and forth in front of his desk as Benny watched with concern.  
  
"Benny, I want this war over and I want it over fast. I want to know who was behind that bomb. I've got a gut feeling there is someone else involved here. As much as I dislike DiLucca, he has never done anything like this before. It's just not something he would do. There has to be someone else bigger behind this whole thing. I want to know who. And Benny, find DiLucca. Tell him I would like to meet with him. Let me know when and where to show up. Also, find Zander Smith. Get him here. I want to talk to him."  
  
"Sure, Mr. Corinthos, I'll get it done."  
  
Sonny was through playing games. He had had enough of playing the puppet at the hands of an unknown enemy's. He needed to regain control of Port Charles and he needed to clean up the mess it had become. But, most of all he needed for Alexis to know he had nothing to do with the explosion at the warehouse. Shaking his head in disgust he wondered who would be next. Who would leave this earth next because of his need for power, for possession. He felt dirty. Suddenly he sprinted toward the stairs and as he entered his bedroom quickly began shedding his clothes and headed toward his shower. He turned the water on as hot as he could stand it and stood within the circle of its spray praying the stench of guilt that clung to his skin would wash down the drain.  
  
Raising his head to let the water run over his face he met his reflection in the mirror hanging from the showerhead and felt the bile in his stomach rise. 'Is this the man she had to look at on a daily basis all those months? Why did she stay so long? How could she have called him her friend?' He remembered an old black and white movie he once saw years ago about a portrait of a man. The movie centered on how the evil deeds and sins of one man affected the portraits visage rather than the man himself. It became a hideous portico to what a life of malevolence and callousness could do to a man. Sonny knew it could have been himself the artist painted. But, concentrating as hard as he could while the hot spray of water pelted him he just couldn't remember how the film ended. And suddenly, as though his life depended on it... he desperately needed to know the fate of the painting as well as the man behind it.  
  
Sonny stood in the shower until the water turned cold only then stepping out to towel off. Reaching for his robe he caught sight of his reflection in the vanity mirror and again felt the soil of guilt wash over him relentlessly. Anger and revulsion rose instantly and picking up a bottle of cologne from the counter with the simple need to destroy the image, he threw it and watched as the mirror shattered. The face was finally gone. Breathing deeply he centered himself on that one brief moment of release... that one brief moment of freedom from the ugliness.  
  
Picking up the phone he quickly dialed a number and impatiently waited. He knew what he was about to do made no sense at all. It was even childish, silly. But he was desperate. He would try anything at this point.  
  
"Johnny, go down to the video store. Find a movie called "The Portrait of Dorian Gray". It is an old black and white. Buy it. I want it here this evening. Leave it across the hall in PH2. And Johnny, I don't want Carly to know anything about this, understand? ... Good."  
  
"Sonny? Are you ok? I heard a loud crashing sound."  
  
Stopping abruptly at the door of the bathroom Carly took in the scene around her. Looking at the bare wall where the mirror once hung and back at Sonny, she knew. Something had changed in him since Kristina died. She saw the look in his eyes after Alexis finished her tirade against him at the memorial. As much as she tried to deny it or fight it, there was only one woman who could bring out that level of emotion in Sonny. Feeling her own rage rise within her she took hold of Sonny's arm and twisted him around to face her.  
  
"It's that witch again, isn't it? What do you see in her? All I ever hear from you is how great a lawyer she is and how great a friend she is to you. Look at this room, Sonny. If she were just a friend to you would you be destroying our home right now?"  
  
She saw the moment her words hit home. It began with his knees and slowly progressed upward. When the trembling reached his hands he grabbed hold of the counter in front of him. He gripped the edge of the counter so tightly she heard it crack.  
  
"Sonny?"  
  
With a voice raw and devoid of care he turned his head and caught her eyes, "Get out of here now, Carly."  
  
"I can help you get through this."  
  
With a strength he didn't know he possessed Sonny brought his anger under enough control to handle it and turned to face her feeling the sickness in his stomach grow more intense.  
  
"You have lived with me long enough to know when I've reached my limit. Yet you keep pushing me, why?"  
  
Carly had seen Sonny's rage before when he felt betrayed. She knew what happened to his business associates when they betrayed him. Taking a step back she felt fear rise in her. The way he was staring at her reminded her of how he had looked when he spoke of Sorel.  
  
"I.. I love you, Sonny. We are meant to be together. You, Michael and me. We are a family."  
  
"What is love, Carly? Can you tell me what love means to you? I want to know. Tell me."  
  
"It's ... well ... love! I love you. You love me. It's taking care of each other."  
  
Sonny listened to her try to explain what she knew of love and hung his head in disgust.  
  
"Carly, it is so much more than you are capable of understanding. Love is commitment. Love is knowing deep down in your soul that the person you cherish most in the world understands who you are and why you are the way you are. Love is trust; never having to question whether the one you love will betray you or walk away from you when mistakes are made. Love is being supported whether you're right or wrong. Love is knowing that you begin breathing easier at the sight of the one that holds your heart. Love is knowing that the one you love will be there with waiting arms when the demons that haunt you at night chase you back to reality with the sweat of fear pouring off you. Love is knowing that being held by the woman you love brings you more peace than you have ever known in your life."  
  
Spent from the raw emotion of his own words, Sonny moved into the bedroom and sat down in the chair next to the bed. Dropping his head in his hands he allowed his own words to penetrate his heart. Releasing a shuddering sigh he looked back up at Carly and choked back a sob. And he saw 'her'... Alexis. Not wanting to break the moment he stared at the vision and watched as she stepped away from Carly's side to stand alone. The sob that caught in his throat at the first sight of her exploded from him as he saw her lift her hand and reach toward him. Raising his own hand in return the vision abruptly left him as Carly appeared between them and laid her hand in his. Realizing that Carly's unwelcome intrusion was the catalyst that ripped from him the only peace he could find, he dropped her hand as if it were hot coals.  
  
"Please, you need to leave me alone for awhile."  
  
"No, I don't think so. You've had your say, now it's my turn. Your little speech there was really quite nice. But, did you ever feel any of that for me? Did you ever put the time and effort into our relationship that would allow that kind of love? No, you didn't. You gave all of that to her. I was nothing more than your doormat; just a warm body to fill your bed. I tried, Sonny. I tried to be what you wanted. If I am not what you need then that is your fault. All you had to do was ask."  
  
Looking at her with pity, he shook his head as the truths he had forced his heart to hold secret finally found their way into his consciousness.  
  
"You know, Carly. I never had to ask Alexis for any of those things. She knew without me ever saying a word. She took the time to look inside the man that I am, to know me. She watched me, watched how I reacted to everything around me. I took precedence over everything in her life. I was important to her. And because I was important to her, she made sure that I had whatever I needed when I needed it. She allowed me to share my soul, my secrets, everything that I am and she never judged me. She never made me feel less of a man. She makes me want to be more than I am. She believes in me. No one has ever believed in me the way she does. So, you want to know what I want? Well, I'll tell you. I WANT HER. But, I can't have her. Kind of ironic isn't it? The one thing I want most in life is off limits because of the man I have become. She is more than you or I will ever be in our lifetime. You don't have to worry that I'll leave you for her. No, we happen to be stuck with one another whether we like it or not... at least for now."  
  
Carly silently listened to Sonny and every word burned her. She was not about to lose this fight. She had one 'ace-in-the-hole' remaining and it was time to use it. She would go see Alexis. They shared a somewhat unholy alliance as a result of her knowing the paternity of Alexis' kid. And if she knew anything about Alexis, it was that she was afraid of Sonny's world. She would hold on to Sonny by way of Alexis. This was rich. The woman who supposedly loved Sonny was now the one betraying him. All she needed to do was pick the right time to share her little secret. She reached around and retrieved her hand bag from the bed before returning her gaze to him. Her stomach churned at the look of disgust on his face then she shrugged her shoulders. 'Well, no matter. He'll come around soon enough because I'm not nearly done with him yet', she thought.  
  
"I think I'll go see Bobbie for awhile. You need to calm down and get all your little ducks in a row. You need to remember you have a wife and a son. We come first, Sonny; not your poor little weak backstabbing lawyer. I'll be back later and we'll fix all of this then."  
  
Carly left quickly to keep him from going too far with her abuse of Alexis. She knew as well as she stood there in front of him that he was fixing to blow again if she didn't get out of the way.  
  
Sonny sat there for a moment after Carly stalked out settle the raging anger that was morphing out of control. When he felt calmer he rose and walked slowly to the balcony doors and opened them wide. He stood there quietly without moving and let the fading sun warm him as his thoughts returned to Alexis. When did it happen? When did I fall in love with her? Smiling to himself he remembered the soft touches, the half smiles, the twinkle in her eyes. She had completely taken possession of his heart when he wasn't looking and totally enraptured him. Her gentle ways reminded him of his mother. Her quite sensual voice wrapped around him like a warm blanket. Closing his eyes he let the vision of her as she danced with him that night so long ago fill his hardened heart and immediately he felt his heart open and become whole again. Only she could have done that for him.  
  
Hearing the sound of a car backfire below Sonny was brought back to the reality of his situation. No one could know how he felt about Alexis. Of all the women he had known in his life, she was the one most important, most precious. She had to be protected at all costs. He looked toward the direction of her new apartment and whispered, "I will keep you safe. If it means never laying eyes on you again, I will keep you safe. Someday when it's all over, when I am free, I will tell you the truth that changed my life and beg your forgiveness for the pain I have caused you. Someday Alexis. Someday." 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
Shuffling through the debris of the Corinthos/Morgan warehouse, Roy waited for Felicia to arrive. He had called her and asked that she meet him there. Allowing his head to fall forward to his chest, he heaved a sigh. 'Well, DiLucca, are you satisfied with yourself now? When are you ever going to learn man? None of this should have happened.'  
  
"Roy? What's wrong? Did we have to meet here, I mean... why here?"  
  
Taking in the sight before them he took hold of Felicia's hand.  
  
"Would you look at that, Felicia! An innocent woman was caught up in all of this and died. I did this. Because I was too stupid to turn that money over to the cops, this is what it came to. And it's not over yet."  
  
"Roy, you couldn't have known this would happen. We didn't know."  
  
"Not good enough. How long have I been around these kind of people. I know them. I know what they are capable of. I should have known better. Felicia, Kristina Cassadine is dead because of my greed, my need to be more than what I am."  
  
"Roy, don't do this to yourself. Please let's just go. We have to find a way to get away from of all this."  
  
She had such hopeful eyes when she looked at him. Roy felt good when he saw how she looked at him. She was a good woman. She fought for those she cared about. She fought daily to give her girls a better life. Now he couldn't even guarantee her that she'd be alive in a week. Because of him, she was in danger.  
  
"Did you know Alexis defended me a couple of times? It was right after I came back to Port Charles. I was working for Sonny at the time. She was good. Didn't take any flack off those guys at the PCPD. Can you imagine what she's going through now? I took her sister away from her. Oh, I know I didn't actually plant the bomb, but this all started with that money and me. I have to find a way out of this and keep anyone else from getting hurt."  
  
"Mr. DiLucca?"  
  
Turning quickly to see who walked up behind him, he stepped in front of Felicia to shield her from any threat that may be coming with the arrival of Sonny's trusted accountant.  
  
"Benny. What brings you here? Not much left of the place to rummage around in."  
  
"Mr. Corinthos has sent me to ask you if you would meet with him at your convenience."  
  
Roy looked around at Felicia with a veiled look of surprise. Since when did Corinthos ask anything? He didn't like this at all. Something was up and he needed a little time to investigate.  
  
"Why don't you tell him to meet me on Pier 52 at 10:00 in the morning."  
  
"Fine, I'll tell him."  
  
Watching Benny walk away Felicia laid a hand on Roy's arm.  
  
"That doesn't sound good. I'm coming with you."  
  
"No, you're not. It may be a set-up. I need to do some checking around. If Sonny is on the level, then the threat won't be from him, it will be from Alcazar. Sonny wants something from me and it's not the pier this time. I don't want you anywhere near the pier Felicia. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
"I beg your pardon. Who do you think you are talking to? I'm not a child!"  
  
"I'm sorry Felicia. I don't want to lose you like Alexis lost Kristina. I need you safe. Please just go with me on this."  
  
"Well, all right. But, you better watch that macho pig stuff. I don't take kindly to it at all."  
  
Pulling her into his arms he whispered in her ear, "I'll remember that."  
  
***********  
  
Folding down the comforter on her bed Alexis prepared to try to get some much-needed rest. Sitting down on the end of the bed she leaned forward and placed her head in her hands and let the tears fall unchecked.  
  
"Kristina? Can you hear me? Are you there? Help me, Kristina. Help me get through this. I can't do this alone."  
  
"Alexis."  
  
"Kristina?" Standing abruptly she turned to see who had spoken. The voice sounded so much like Kristina, but she was... As she looked toward her bedroom window she gasped and sank to her knees. In the soft moonlight there stood Kristina reaching out to her.  
  
"Kristina? How...?"  
  
"Don't be afraid Alexis, you are seeing that part of me that you  
haven't let go of yet. I am only here until you are strong enough to  
stand on your own again. There will come a time when you will no  
longer need me and I will join that part of your heart that you  
treasure most; where you keep the memory of our mother and Chloe."  
  
"What am I going to do without you? How can I go on without you with me? You were the best part of me. I need you with me, Kristina. Please don't leave again."  
  
"Oh Alexis, you are such a strong and capable woman. Yes, you are  
hurting right now. You feel alone in the world again. I know you  
miss me and I know how much you loved me, but you have to pull  
yourself together. You have a life to live, a child to love and  
protect; and there is love waiting for you, Alexis."  
  
"No, Kristina. I don't want to love anymore. It hurts too much. I can't bear to open my heart again. I've lost everything that meant anything to me except my child. She will have all of the love I can give her, but that is it. No one else is ever going to get to me again."  
  
"Lie down and rest Alexis, we will talk again soon. But right now,  
your child needs you to remember her and allow her to rest along with  
you. Sleep my beautiful sister. I will watch over you and chase the  
demons away. Lay your head down and, sleep sweet sister."  
  
Listening to the spirit of Kristina that her grief had invoked she lay down on the bed and pulled the comforter over her. Smiling gently she allowed herself to finally rest with the voice of her sister still in echoing in her ears.  
  
**********  
  
There was one who would not be so blessed to find rest though. Sleep would not come to Sonny Corinthos. He was in Jason's penthouse having just watched the video that Johnny had delivered for him. There was that one point from the whole film that reached the core of him and he couldn't shake it. Standing on the balcony he gave voice to the one critical concept of the whole film.  
  
"What does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?"  
  
Had he lost his soul? Alexis tried to tell him on more than one occasion that he was playing a dangerous game with his life and that one day his luck would run out. Thinking of her and yearning for her he closed his eyes and breathed the prayer that would stay with him until the chaos of his life was resolved. "Alexis, wait for me. Wait for me to get it all straightened out. Don't give up on me yet." 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
"Sonny, I'm going to Kelly's for breakfast. Do you want me to bring you anything?"  
  
Entering the room from the balcony of Jason's penthouse he headed for the kitchen for another cup of coffee. He wasn't aware that had Carly come in and didn't really care to see her this early in the morning. He was raw and preferred not getting into a conversation with her about anything, especially Alexis.  
  
"No Carly, I'm not hungry. Benny, should be here in a few minutes and we'll be heading out for the rest of the day. I won't be home until late. You need to remember there is a war on and take the proper precautions. I have assigned two bodyguards to you as well as Michael. Be smart, Carly. Keep your tendency for dramatics under control. Protect Michael at all costs. Not just from the war, but from what is between us as well. I will not discuss this with you this morning, I don't have time."  
  
"Fine,' she retorted acidly. Carly backed toward the door not taking her eyes off Sonny. She chose words that she knew would hurt. She wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her. "You know, Alexis will never have anything to do with you. You're nothing but a criminal to her; someone who deserves to be behind bars. While you're out saving the world today, why don't you remember that."  
  
Opening the door to leave she ran into Benny.  
  
"Be careful Benny, he's got his attorney on his mind again and you know what that means. No one's safe in the room with him."  
  
"GET OUT, CARLY." Damn, he had to get his anger under control. He couldn't blow it now. He needed to keep her close for a while longer. With her in place under his roof, Alexis was safe. He watched her flounce out and shook his head. How could any one person be so dense?  
  
"Benny, come in. What have you got?"  
  
"Well, like I told you last night, you are meeting Mr. DiLucca at 10:00. I am having Zander brought here at 1:00. We need to begin reconstruction of the warehouse as soon as possible and..."  
  
"No."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"The warehouse will not be rebuilt. Level it. Clear away everything. Find another site for the warehouse or find one to purchase close by."  
  
"But sir, that is the most lucrative piece of property on the waterfront. We will lose money if we move the warehouse away from Pier 52."  
  
"I'm not going to discuss it with you, Benny. I have my reasons. We'll find another way to make up the loss in revenue. Just follow my orders. I want the area cleared before the end of the week. Got it?"  
  
"Yes, Mr. Corinthos. I'll see to it."  
  
"Thanks, Benny. And Benny... move your family. I don't want their blood on my hands as well."  
  
"It's already done. Don't worry boss. We'll win this one and we'll keep the cost minimal."  
  
"It's already cost too much. Much more than I care to think about. Just go on and take care of what I asked and I'll talk to you later Benny."  
  
Entering his own home Sonny went to his desk and sat down. 'Ok, Corinthos, how are we going to end this. Think man. There has to be a way of stopping this war without further damage. What would you do, Alexis? Tell me, what would be your first move?'  
  
"You've already set the first move in motion."  
  
Sonny stood so quickly, the chair he had been sitting in rolled across the room hitting the dining room table.  
  
"Alexis?"  
  
"I'm here; I'm a part of you, just listen to your heart. We'll work  
this out together. Roy is the first step."  
  
Smiling with content for the first time in days Sonny retrieved his chair and sat back down. She was with him. She had so firmly latched on to his heart that even though miles separated them physically and emotionally their bond was strong enough to bridge the chasm.  
  
"Ok counselor, let's work this out."  
  
***************  
  
Waking to a new morning, Alexis stretched her arms and legs to prepare them to meet the day.  
  
"Kristina? Is breakfast ready yet?"  
  
Hearing silence Alexis rolled over and buried her face into her pillow as the realization of her sister's death slammed into her once again. Resigning herself to another day without Kristina she pulled the pillow over her head and decided to stay in bed away from the world. Sleep would keep the pain at bay.  
  
"Alexis, get up. You cannot hide from life."  
  
Pulling the pillow from her head, Alexis listened expectantly... hopefully.  
  
"Yes, I'm here. Listen to your heart. You have to get up now. It's  
a beautiful day and the baby is hungry."  
  
Finding peace for the first time in days, Alexis smiled.  
  
"Oh all right, but do you have to be the voice of reason so early in the morning. Good morning, little sister and thank you."  
  
"Just looking out for my big sister. See you later."  
  
"See you later."  
  
Raising her hand to caress the most important person in her world now Alexis, spoke quietly with renewed hope.  
  
"Did you hear her, angel? She's still with us. She didn't leave after all and we'll be just fine. Come on, I have to get you fed. How do you feel about some eggs and bacon? I know it's a little ambitious for me, but you are not going to starve because a simple kitchen seems to be the only thing that can intimidate your mother. Besides, Kristina will help us if we get into too much trouble."  
  
Laughing quietly to herself she went to the kitchen and was surprised to find a take out box on the table. Upon closer investigation she found a note.  
  
"Good morning. Just thought you might want a little breakfast to  
start your day. I'll look in on you later. Ned."  
  
"Now see, you and I are not alone at all. We have friends who care about us and you have a surrogate daddy who doesn't want you to starve. Come on, we'll eat and then we'll decide what we are going to do today. Since our main source of income is no longer a viable option we need to find another one. I wonder if your Uncle Jax needs an attorney?" 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
Sonny arrived at the pier before Roy and sat down on the nearest bench and wait. It was important that Roy not be presented with a reason to assume a defensive stance with him. Sonny had formulated a plan and was hoping he could persuade Roy to go along with him. Hearing footsteps he remained seated and faced Roy as he came down the steps toward him.  
  
"Roy."  
  
"You wanted to see me?"  
  
"No, I asked if you would meet me. There is a difference. Look, there's been enough blood shed. We both know what this has cost not only us, but someone who has stood between us and jail time on numerous occasions. We need to end this now. Would you be willing to listen to a way out of this mess? Maybe offer some insights of your own?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Sonny the stakes are just too high on this one."  
  
"I was right, wasn't I? There is someone pushing you!"  
  
"Leave it alone, Sonny. I will tell you this, if you value your family, get them out of town."  
  
Sonny watched as Roy turned and left. He now knew for certain that what he had suspected was in fact true. Someone else was behind all of this. Roy was just a pawn in the whole mess. Paying heed to Roy's warning he called Johnny.  
  
"Johnny, where's Carly. I need to know where she is right now."  
  
"Boss, she just arrived at Ms. Davis' place and she looks ready to kill."  
  
"I'm on my way. Get in there. I don't care how, but your job right now is to protect Alexis from Carly. GO... NOW."  
  
Sonny hung up and took off sprinting toward the limo.  
  
***********  
  
Alexis had just finished making a few calls to the courthouse and some of her lingering clients when she heard someone pounding on her door. Moving to the door she looked through the privacy hole and saw Carly. Not wanting a confrontation with her she left the door closed and addressed her unwelcome visitor through it.  
  
"Carly, I don't care to see you today. Go home and leave me alone."  
  
"I need to talk to you now, Alexis."  
  
"I'm sorry, but that is not going to happen this morning. You need to go. In fact, you should probably steer clear of me, my apartment and anywhere I decide to go, as I will be filing a restraining order against you, your husband and anyone connected with you. Am I making myself clear?"  
  
"Ok, you cannot just wave me off like some little fly."  
  
"If it looks like a fly... acts like a fly... then reason would dictate... well, you get my drift."  
  
"OK look, I am going to talk to you if I have to break down this door to do it."  
  
"Carly, I am warning you."  
  
"WARNING ME... Johnny, what are you doing here?"  
  
Alexis heard Carly question Johnny's arrival and found it mildly interesting herself and pressed closer to the door to hear their exchange.  
  
"Mr. Corinthos sent me."  
  
"Good, break down this door."  
  
"No."  
  
"Excuse me. I am your boss's wife and I just gave you a direct order now DO IT."  
  
"No. You may be the boss's wife, but the boss is the one who sent me here."  
  
"Why, is something wrong? Is he hurt?"  
  
"No. He just wanted to make sure you didn't bother Ms. Davis."  
  
Johnny knew he shouldn't take pleasure in this little assignment, but he couldn't help it. It was time someone took this little piece of fluff in hand and it was his lucky day to get to see it happen. Hearing Max alert him to the boss's arrival through his earpiece, he relished the fact that his day was fixing to get a whole lot more interesting.  
  
Hearing the exchange between Carly and Johnny floored Alexis. Leaning heavily on the door in order to not miss anything, she heard the unmistakable voice of Sonny join the party outside her door.  
  
"Carly, you don't belong here. We don't belong here. Alexis needs to be left alone now. Go get in the limo."  
  
"I need to talk to Alexis, Sonny and I'm not leaving until I do."  
  
"Johnny, take Carly to the limo."  
  
Unable to stop the laughter filling her, Alexis let it go as she heard Carly screaming at Johnny to put her down with every four-letter word in existence. 'My, the woman sure has a limited vocabulary,' she whispered to herself. Standing to return to her desk she heard his quiet words...  
  
"She won't be bothering you again, Alexis. You have my word. I know it doesn't mean much now. But, I'll make sure she doesn't bother you again. Take care."  
  
Sliding down the door she sat on the floor and leaned her head back against it. Willing the tears to go away, she remembered Kristina and let her anger take over. Not knowing if he were still on the other side of the door or not she determinedly raised her voice.  
  
"So that's how you want to play the game, Mr. Corinthos. Charm is definitely overrated these days. My sister is dead and you are responsible. I thank you for keeping your wife away from me. But, I'll tell you just like I told her; I will be filing a restraining order against you both later today. Stay away from me, Sonny. Just go away."  
  
He heard the agony in her voice; he felt it in his soul.  
  
"You don't have to worry about either one of us any more. We've cost you enough. A restraining order won't be necessary... um, Bye."  
  
Catching her head in her hands as it fell forward she sobbed against the war within her own heart. He had killed her sister and heaven help her she still loved him.  
  
"Kristina, I can't live like this. I can't live with this constant battle inside me."  
  
"There doesn't have to be a battle, Alexis. Listen to him. Didn't  
you hear him? You used to be able to hear the words he wasn't saying.  
Remember the man you loved. He was just standing outside your door."  
  
"No, he's dangerous. I can't Kristina. I need my little girl alive and safe. I have to protect her."  
  
"Time, Alexis. Time heals. Don't close your heart." 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Exiting Alexis' building Sonny walked quickly toward Johnny.  
  
"Johnny, you are released from your obligation to me. From now on Alexis is your sole responsibility. You are her shadow. Wherever she goes, whatever she does. Be there. Stay just out of sight. I don't want her to know you're there; it will only upset her. Whatever loyalty you've ever felt for me is now directed toward her. If you have a problem with my orders I need to know now."  
  
"I will guard her with my life. It will be my honor. She always respected me. Don't worry boss, I'll keep her safe."  
  
"Thanks, Johnny."  
  
Walking toward the limo he sent a passing shot back at Johnny.  
  
"You've got the better end of deal."  
  
Smiling conspiratorially Johnny murmured, "Don't I know it."  
  
Sitting down beside Carly in the limo he passed his hand over his face and waited for the onslaught to begin. Hearing only silence from her he glanced over and saw her sitting there in stony silence glaring at him. Pushing the intercom button he told Max to take them home and then settled his attention on Carly.  
  
"Well, aren't you going to say anything or are you just going to sit over there staring at me like I'm some sort of monster?"  
  
"How could you? I am your wife. It should be me you protect like that. Just what is it that she holds over you that makes you jump through hoops for her?"  
  
"I think we have already established that. Look, Alexis has lost enough. We are going to leave her alone. Don't come back here again. Stay away from her from now on. No phone calls, no trips to the park when she's there, no convenient excuses to leave the penthouse just to barge in on her. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
"And what about you? Are you going to stop seeing her as well or does this new rule just pertain to me?"  
  
"We are both going to leave her alone. Besides, I won't have to worry about you harassing her much longer."  
  
"What do you mean, Sonny?"  
  
Leaning forward in order to express his point he studied her for a moment before continuing.  
  
"Carly, you and Michael will be leaving the country for an extended vacation."  
  
"Oh hell no I'm not. I am not leaving you here with Miss High and Mighty alone."  
  
"I don't want Michael in danger and he needs his mother. I told you this war is going to escalate. I want my son out of the way and that means you will accompany him so he doesn't feel he has been abandoned."  
  
"Letitia can go with him."  
  
"LETITIA IS NOT HIS MOTHER..."  
  
Quickly reigning in his anger he sat back and looked out the window. How long could he go on like this? Bringing his hand up to the back of his neck he attempted to massage the tension away. For 'her'... It has to be this way for 'her'... for now. Looking back at Carly he let his face relax and allowed a small smile.  
  
"Carly, can we not do this? You have what you wanted. You have me and Michael. We will only be separated until this war is over. When it is safe I will come get you."  
  
Sonny watched her closely and saw when she finally bought into what he was telling her. He raised his arm to accommodate her as she slid onto the seat beside him. Forcing himself to relax the tension in his body at her touch he remained quiet until they reached the penthouse.  
  
"I have a meeting in a little while and I would like to start reinforcing the idea of your absence to my associates as well as my enemies. Why don't you start packing and I will have Max take your bags down when you are ready."  
  
Allowing her to kiss him, he anxiously awaited the time the penthouse would once again be silent.  
  
"Ok, sweetheart. I'll have us all ready in just a few minutes. Could you possibly fly down with us and then come back?"  
  
Drawing on the last bit of feeling he had for her he put his arms around her and leaned forward to rest his head against hers.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I don't think that will be possible. I want this war over as fast as possible and I've set up meetings that will hopefully bring us closer to that end. Look, the sooner this is over, the sooner I can bring you home."  
  
Stepping back Carly looked closely at him. Is he lying to me? Is he just trying to get rid of me? Watching for a sign and not finding one she kissed him once more and went upstairs to pack. Well, he may want Alexis, but I've got him. As long as he feels he can't have her then I'm safe. 'Thank you Miss High and Mighty Alexis. You have successfully taken yourself out of the picture. Glad I could help.'  
  
Downstairs, Sonny called Max in for final instructions.  
  
"Take two men with you when you take Carly and Michael to the island. Give them strict instructions that she is never to be out of their sight. I don't want her hopping a plane back here while no one is looking. Max, don't fail me in this. It is important that she not find her way back here until I say it's ok. Do you understand me?"  
  
"Yes, Mr. Corinthos. I'll make sure the message is delivered."  
  
"Good, once you have her settled then you come back here. I'm going to need you here with me from now on. Johnny has been reassigned."  
  
"I know boss. Good move. We've always respected her."  
  
"Thanks Max, but let's leave the personal comments outside the door, ok?"  
  
"Sure boss, sorry. I'll be right outside."  
  
Clapping Max on the back he followed him to the door. "It's ok, Max. I know how you feel. I just don't want to give air to too many words inside the penthouse. But, thanks man."  
  
Two hours later, Sonny sat on the couch relishing the silence around him. She was gone and he felt unrestrained for the first time in months. Standing quickly he raced up the stairs to his bedroom. He didn't have much time, Zander would be there any minute, but this wouldn't wait another minute. Reaching for the pillows on the bed, he threw them to the floor along with the bedspread. With intensity he reached for the satin sheets and ripped them from his bed. Picking up the pillows he tore the cases from them as well. Taking all four items back downstairs to the kitchen he pulled a garbage bag from the pantry and deposited his armload into it. After Zander left he would complete the sterilization of Carly from his room. If things worked out the way he planned, she would not be returning to his bedroom.  
  
Pulling his wallet from his back pocket, he pulled a worn frayed paper clipping from its hiding place. It wasn't a very good picture, but it was the only one he had.  
  
"Hi, beautiful. Well, our nemesis is gone. Just hang on, Alexis. Just give me a little more time."  
  
Tenderly replacing the clipping back in his wallet he made a note to himself to tell Johnny that part of his new assignment was to get a decent picture of Alexis for him.  
  
Glancing at his watch he started downstairs just as he heard the knock on the door. 'Ok, here we go.'  
  
Opening the door he stepped back to allow Zander to walk in unrestricted. Closing the door behind him he moved toward the living room beckoning Zander to follow him. Recognizing the familiar defiance in the boy Sonny knew he would have to be careful with him if this meeting were to turn out the way he hoped it would.  
  
"Please have a seat."  
  
"What do you want, Sonny. You summoned me; I'm here. Get on with it."  
  
"What's it gonna take for you and I to resolve the conflict between us? Zander, we've hurt people around us with this thing that's between us."  
  
"Hey man, I was there for you and you turned your back on me. I was willing to stand with you, I gave my loyalty to you and you threw it back in my face. Ok, I got angry and did something stupid. But, don't lay this all in my lap."  
  
Sonny took a deep breath and let it out slowly to ease his tension.  
  
"You're right Zander, I am at fault here too. I've made mistakes with you. But, can you see past the mistakes we both made and understand how your volatile temper threatened me?"  
  
"You could have talked to me about it, you didn't have to turn your back on me."  
  
"Zander, you have no idea just how much alike we are. We have so much anger inside of us because of our past that we have difficulty controlling it. We lash out at those who love us and we destroy what is good in our life because we feel we do not deserve it. It may be too late for me, but not for you. You have a chance to make something of yourself."  
  
"Why now, Sonny? Why the turn around?"  
  
"I think you're smart enough to figure that out for yourself. There are sacrifices we must make in life to protect those we love. I think you are finally figuring that out. There is someone out there that needs to hear from you, Zander. Don't make her wait too long. She's in a great deal of pain and needs her friends around her now. Be a friend to her."  
  
"Do you think there is a way to stop this war without anyone else getting hurt?"  
  
"I don't know. I hope so. That's what I want, but it's going to take cooperation from both sides and I don't know if DiLucca will be willing to lay down the grudge long enough to end it. But I need to know from you if we can call a truce at least until it's all over. I don't want to fight with you anymore, Zander. But, I also don't want to have to keep watching over my shoulder for the next time you decide to take action against me. I am telling you now I am no longer your enemy. I'll do anything I can to help you find your place."  
  
"Look, I need to talk to someone. I am in a difficult position right now and I need to talk to someone who can be objective. For what it's worth, right now, I have no plan against you. I am willing to start over, but I need to know how and I don't think I want to talk to you about that. I think we both know where I need to be right now and who I need to talk to. So I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Zander, be careful. Try to get there without being seen. Above everything else we need to protect her."  
  
"I understand. You have my word that if it doesn't feel safe, I won't go until it does."  
  
Walking to the door Zander turned and shook his head in disbelief.  
  
"You know, she would really get a kick out of this."  
  
"See ya later man."  
  
Walking to the balcony door, Sonny stood and thought over the past few minutes with Zander. 'Well, that went pretty well I think.'  
  
'Yes, that went very well. You should be proud of yourself. I'll take  
care of him now.'  
  
Smiling at the vision of her that had appeared in front of him he reached for her and closed his fingers around emptiness. "Don't leave me, Alexis. Stay with me."  
  
"I am in your heart. I am always here, just listen for me. I will  
never leave you." 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
  
Leaving the penthouse Zander headed for Alexis' place. Being very careful and staying alert he circled the block twice before finally entering the building. As he entered he noticed Johnny standing just down the hall from her door. Figuring that it would be best to let Johnny know he had just come from Sonny's he headed for him and became curious when Johnny tried to wave him away. Looking around anxiously for any sign of trouble and not seeing any he continued toward Johnny and questioned him.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Nothing. Ms. Davis is not to know she is being guarded. Mr. Corinthos let me know you were coming. Do not alert her to my presence. Is that clear?"  
  
"Yeah, no problem."  
  
Turning back to her door, Zander knocked briefly and looked around again to see if there were any unwelcome visitors lurking about.  
  
Hearing a knock on her door, Alexis threw the dish towel down in frustration as she glanced once more at the pitiful looking omelet she had been trying to fix before going to the door to see who was there. Feeling her heart fill with the sight of him, she opened the door and welcomed him in.  
  
"Now where have you been keeping yourself?"  
  
"Oh, I've been around. It's good to see you."  
  
"I've missed you." Taking him in her arms she hugged him with a strength she hadn't felt in days. "You have no idea what the sight of you means to me."  
  
"Alexis, I'm sorry about Kristina. I know you loved her a lot. Is there anything I can do for you?"  
  
Loving him for caring she led him over to the couch and sat down beside him.  
  
"Actually there is something you can do for me. You can stop making yourself so scarce. I need to see you every once in a while. I need to know you are ok. I heard that Sonny had put out a hit on you..."  
  
"Alexis, wait. That's one of the reasons I'm here. I need to talk to you about something. I need to know what to do. I'm in a bind and I want to do the right thing... I just don't know what that is right now."  
  
Reaching for him, she took his hands in hers and leaned closer to him. "Talk to me, Zander. I'll help in any way I can."  
  
Looking down at their clasped hands he disengaged himself from her and went to stand on the other side of the coffee table. He needed to put a little distance between them because he knew he was fixing to cause her more pain.  
  
"Alexis, I need to begin from the beginning and some of this is going to hurt you and you will probably want to throw me out of here before I finish. But, please give me the chance to tell you everything before you decide to throw me out."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Kristina and I were friends. She stood by me when the mess with Sonny came down. She tried to talk me down several times and I did like I always do and went off and did my own thing regardless of how it affected anybody else. But, she never gave up on me. She was a lot like you. I admired her for that."  
  
Releasing a heavy sigh Zander sat down on the couch opposite Alexis and tried to look her in the eye. Failing in his attempt to make eye contact with her he looked at the floor and continued his story.  
  
"When Roy bought the pier I called him for a job. I admit it was only to get at Sonny. I wanted to hurt him, maybe make him regret turning on me. Then the pier went up in flames and we retaliated by contaminating the contents of Sonny's warehouse."  
  
Glancing up at Alexis he saw the tears running down her face, but she kept her word and held her silence. He wondered at that moment if anyone else in the world could hate himself as much as he did at that moment. Unaware of how the sight of her tears had affected him, he continued to relate the events as best he could while his own tears slid unhindered down his own face.  
  
"You need to know that Roy, nor I planted that bomb. There is someone else involved that wants to take Sonny down and they are using Roy to do it. I knew I had to do something to try and stop all of this when Kristina got caught in the middle of it, so I went to Mac and laid it all out for him."  
  
Alexis stared at him with shock.  
  
"You're Mac's informant?"  
  
"Yeah. I didn't know what else to do. Elizabeth got shot, Kristina was... It just all needed to end. I couldn't come here and look you in the face before now, because I knew I was as much a part of what happened to Kristina as the rest of them were. I'm so sorry, Alexis. I never wanted it to go this far. I was just so angry."  
  
Standing and moving toward him Alexis sat down beside him, put her arms around him and rocked him as he cried on her shoulder. Feeling his arms steal around her and tighten she shifted just enough so he wouldn't harm the baby and sat with him patiently until he regained control of himself.  
  
"I'm sorry, Alexis. I wish more than anything it could have been me in that warehouse."  
  
"Shhh... Zander stop. We have all made mistakes in the past few months. Every one of us is responsible for my sister's death. But, you are the only one out of all of us who made a conscious effort to try to change things; to try and make things right. Do you know how much I love and respect you for that? Kristina would be so proud of you."  
  
That's not exactly true, Alexis. I mean, I'm not the only one who's trying to stop all of this."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I just came from Sonny's."  
  
"No Zander, I will not discuss Sonny in this house."  
  
"Alexis, you said you would listen to the whole story. This is part of it. I need you to hear the rest in order for you to have all the facts to help me. Please let me finish."  
  
He watched her draw away from him and straightened her back; like she always did when she prepared herself to receive unpleasant news.  
  
"Sonny requested I meet with him today and he asked me what he could do to end the conflict between us. He told me that he and I were a lot alike, I mean with our anger problem. He wants to end this war as much as I do. He told me he wants to talk to Roy about joining forces against this guy who started it all, but he doesn't think Roy will trust him enough to sit and talk with him about it. Sonny also told me to come here, that you needed to see me... that you needed your friends right now. He told me he would do anything he could to help me find my place. I believe he really wants all of this to end..."  
  
"He really said all of that?" Alexis wasn't quite ready to buy into all Zander was relating to her. But, one thing was for sure. Sonny was certainly on a roll this time.  
  
"Yeah, you should'a seen him. He looks bad."  
  
"All right, I get your point. You may be ready to fall right back into his good graces, but I for one have had enough. Don't worry though, my feelings toward Sonny are a separate issue. We have to figure out what you're going to do next."  
  
"You mean you'll actually help after me telling you all that?"  
  
"Zander, I have always told you that you had a lot of potential. You have proved that I was right. It took a lot of courage to go to Mac with all of this. You did good. Now, we just have to figure out how to get the Bobbsie Twins together to finish what you started. And I have an idea."  
  
"Well that was fast."  
  
"I know. I'm good aren't I?" Laughing playfully she jabbed him in the arm and pulled him toward the kitchen.  
  
"It's your turn to fix lunch I think, and my baby and I are starving. So get busy."  
  
"Baby?"  
  
She had to take a step backward to keep from falling when Zander stopped in his tracks. Shyly looking down she glanced up and peeked at him through her bangs.  
  
"Yeah. A baby."  
  
"Sonny, doesn't know yet?"  
  
"It's Ned's, Zander."  
  
Putting a hand on each of her arms he waited for her to meet his eyes.  
  
"There's not a lot that I can claim to be smart about. But, one thing I know for sure is you are not the type to climb from one man's bed into another's. I've always respected your loyalty and those damn principles of yours. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. If you want it to be Ned's, that's fine. You've never lied to me and some day I want to be able to say the same thing to you and know it's true. I respect you, Alexis. I wish my mom had been half the woman you are."  
  
Lifting her arms she hugged him to her.  
  
"Thank you, Zander. Thank you for believing in me, for knowing me. I cannot tell you how much that means to me. I guess what has hurt me the most is that Sonny actually believed that I would go to Ned after..."  
  
"Don't bet on it. I would be willing to wager that Sonny does know, he just wants you safe so he is letting you get away with that little fib and not calling you on it."  
  
"No, he sees what he wants to see. Look, are you going to fix me lunch or am I going to have to call for take-out? I am starving."  
  
"Ok. Ok. You win... this round. But, we're not through with this one yet. Show me where the eggs are and the same rules apply... It is our secret that your lack of cooking skills has forced me to learn how to cook."  
  
Laughingly companionably they linked arms and headed toward the kitchen. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
  
An hour later sitting back in his chair he looked across the table at Alexis. Zander could not believe he was once again being welcomed into her home. More than anywhere else he had ever been, with her he felt at home.  
  
"Thanks, Alexis."  
  
"For what? I should be thanking you. You've improved. That was an excellent omelet. You should be very proud of yourself."  
  
"Thanks for making me feel comfortable here. You always come through for me. I just want you to know how much I appreciate it."  
  
"Zander, you are one of my favorite people. Why you were able to wrap yourself around my heart so tightly I'll never know, but you did and now you're stuck with me. But enough of the mutual admiration society stuff, we have a job to do and it's time we get started."  
  
"Are you sure this is how you want it played out?"  
  
Reaching across the table she laid her hand on his and squeezed it.  
  
"I'm sure. It could get a little dicey for you; are you up to it?"  
  
"Now more than ever. As long as you're here and Sonny backs me up we've got a chance to pull this off."  
  
"Ok then, 'Operation Kristina' is now in progress. Let's get to it."  
  
Walking Zander to the door she couldn't let him go without one more hug. She loved him just as much as she loved Nicholas. Lifting her head slightly she whispered,  
  
"Please take care of yourself, Zander. I need you in my life too much to lose you now."  
  
Choking on the lump in his throat Zander gave her an extra squeeze careful of the baby and whispered back. "I promise." He quickly closed the door behind him embarrassed once again with his lack of control over his emotions.  
  
Looking toward Johnny once the door was closed he waited to see if anything was amiss. Seeing Johnny relaxed against the wall he headed out the front of the building and carefully looked around for anything that might seem out of the ordinary. He had three calls to make. He started walking away from the building as he pulled his cellphone out. He needed to put distance between him and Alexis' place quickly. Dialing Sonny's number he waited for him to answer as he walked.  
  
"Corinthos here."  
  
"Sonny?"  
  
"That you, Zander?"  
  
"Yeah. If you meant what you said to me earlier, you're fixing to get a chance to prove it."  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"I just left Alexis."  
  
"Is she ok?"  
  
Hearing the hesitancy in Sonny's voice Zander grinned. Some way or another he was going to have to see about getting those two back together. But, that problem was going to have to wait a while.  
  
"Yea, she's fine. Sonny, you laid a lot on me this afternoon and in effect you are asking me to trust you again. Am I right?"  
  
"It has to be a two way street, Zander but you're right. Why?"  
  
"I am going to trust you then and expect you to trust me now. You have to remember who we're dealing with though. Alexis knows Johnny is outside her door and she's willing to let him remain for the time being, but it comes at a cost."  
  
"How does she know Johnny's watching her, Zander. You didn't..."  
  
"No, Sonny, I didn't. But, you seem to be forgetting how well she knows you. She told me Johnny was there. Anyway, she is going to be leaving the apartment in a few minutes and asked me to have you call Johnny and make sure he stays out of sight. She has also asked that you respect her enough not to ask any questions of her or Johnny about where she is going."  
  
"Zander, I don't like this. It is too dangerous out there for her."  
  
"I understand where you're coming from, Sonny. But, I am asking you to trust me on this one. I know what she's up to and I know why. You need to let this go. Johnny will be with her. She won't be out long and she has promised to leave her cellphone on and connected to me the whole time she is out. There was one other thing she asked me to pass on to you if you gave me too hard a time about this."  
  
"Tell me. Word for Word."  
  
"Quote, 'Everyone around me has seen fit to take control of my life away from me. At this moment the only way I see of regaining control is to leave Port Charles. Don't make me leave my home and what's left of my family.' Unquote."  
  
"Ok, Zander. She wins this one. Call me when she returns. And Zander, thanks."  
  
Ending his call with Sonny he called Roy.  
  
"Roy, it's Zander. I need to see you, but I'm being followed. Give me thirty minutes to lose this guy and meet me at Jake's in my old room. I wouldn't ask, but it's urgent... Thanks, see you then."  
  
Two down, one to go. Zander knew he was playing with fire, but this was a plan that had been concocted by one smart lady and he wanted this, needed this. He needed to come through for her. Dialing the final number he childishly crossed his fingers.  
  
"Port Charles Police Department, Commissioner Scorpio speaking..."  
  
"Mac, it's me."  
  
"It must be pretty big for you to be calling me off the schedule. What's up?"  
  
"Do you believe I want this war over as much as you do?"  
  
"That's a loaded question, but I'll bite. Why?"  
  
"Let's just say a lot of it has to do with Alexis and Kristina Cassadine."  
  
"I'm listening."  
  
"Mac, I need to see you in person. And I need it to be off the record."  
  
"That's a tall order. You're asking a lot."  
  
"I know, but the request is not mine, it comes from a certain lady lawyer we both know and respect."  
  
"Ok, wait a minute, tell me you did not get her involved in this."  
  
"No, it is her choice. And she has a message for you."  
  
"Spill it."  
  
"Quote 'For the three most important girls in your life... Trust me.' Unquote."  
  
"Where will I be meeting you... Off the record." 


	11. Chapter 11

****

Chapter 11

Getting up to answer the door she checked the cellphone in her pocket to make sure it was still connected. She had arrived at Jake's just a few minutes ago and was waiting for Roy. 'I sure do hope we can get through to him, Kristina.' 

**__**

'We will, Alexis, we will.'

Roy stood impatiently outside the door waiting to be let in. He felt exposed standing out here in the hall. Hearing the door open and seeing the occupant of the room he let his head drop to his chest with a resigned sigh.

"Roy, come in."

"Hello, Alexis. Can I assume that you and Zander have joined forces now?"

"I should think you would have learned by now that things are not always what they seem. I asked Zander to set up this meeting. We need to talk."

"Forgive me, but I got your point at the service. We don't need to go over it again. I am so sorry for your loss. But, you have no idea what is going on here and you need to stay as far away from all this as possible."

"Roy, I know you didn't plant the bomb that killed my sister. I know most of what has happened over the past few weeks. What I don't know is who is behind all of this. This is not you. You would never willingly put people in danger. I know this about you. My grief over my sister caused me to lose sight of reality for a moment. But, I meant the rest of what I said. You're walking a fine line and you could find yourself looking at more casualties. Roy, don't let Felicia be one of those casualties."

"Alexis, this goes way beyond what I am willing to admit to you. I will protect Felicia."

"Like I protected Kristina? Like Sonny protected Lilly? Roy, listen to me. For those we love and still have with us we need to bring a quick conclusion to this war. I think I've come up with an idea that could resolve the whole thing."

Looking down in concentration Roy stepped away from Alexis and crossed the room. Could she have the answer? He knew he didn't have any answers and for the first time in his life, he let go of his ego.

"You've always been straight with me. I respect you because you stand your ground when you know you're right. Looks like I need to put my money where my mouth is this time. But, you need to know that Felicia's life has already been threatened. If I don't do what I am told, she dies."

"Don't worry about Felicia, she is on her way to Wyndemere. I had Nicholas call her and ask her to meet me on the island. She's been a good friend to me and I don't want to lose her either. She will be safe there."

"For someone who doesn't get around a lot you sure stay on top of things, don't you." Looking around the room and laughing gently he returned his gaze to her. "You know, you always did impress me. Thank you for getting her out of the way of all this."

"I need to know from the beginning how all this started, Roy. Trust me. I more than anyone else involved in all of this should have the right to be heard and have a say in how this all plays out. Tell me, Roy. Tell me how this all happened."

"Sit down, this will take a bit." 

Settling down next to her, Roy began to tell her everything.

"Someone planted a million dollars in my closet. Felicia had it checked out and found it was not listed anywhere as missing and it was untraceable. I saw it as my chance to finally make something of myself. Felicia and I tried to come up with ways to invest the money and I found out that the pier had come up for sale. Without consulting her about it, I used the money and bought the pier. Sonny offered to buy it from me at a considerable profit to me and I turned him down. I wanted to make something good happen on the pier and if I could stick it to Sonny at the same time, well that was icing on the cake. I was finally contacted by the owner of the money, then came the fire and the contamination of the warehouse. I got a call that my next move was to plant the bomb. When I refused he had the bomb planted by someone else. He made a call to Felicia and made it sound like Sonny wanted to meet with her at the warehouse. Just before the bomb was set to go I received a call that Felicia was on her way to the warehouse and it wasn't a good place for her to be. I didn't get there in time. If I had I may have been able to save Kristina."

Standing and moving away from him she forced herself to stay calm. 

"I need a name Roy. Give me a name. I want to know who killed my sister."

"He's dangerous, Alexis. You need to stay out of this. I will find a way to stop him."

"Roy, your arrogance and need for revenge has cost me dearly. It is my right as the one who has lost the most in this war you started to know who is pulling your strings."

Hanging his head in shame, Roy gave her what she needed. "His name is Alcazar."

Turning away from him she reached into her pocket and turned off her cellphone. Waiting a moment more to steady herself she crossed back over to Roy and sat back down.

"Roy, you are on a very self-destructive course. If that is what you really want for your life, fine, but don't take my friend down with you. She has two beautiful daughters who depend on her daily to be there for them. You have thought of no one but yourself in all of this and your need to stick it to Sonny. You are better than that. Felicia sees in you what I saw in Sonny. Don't make her pay the price for loving a man who does not love her enough to protect her from his grudges. Roy, I am asking you to honor my sister now and do what needs to be done to finish this."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to join forces with Sonny to end this."

"What, and let him stick it to me again? You're asking too much, Alexis."

Placing her hand on his arm she forced him to meet her gaze.

"I am asking you to trust me. Trust that I know Sonny. He is ready to end this as much as we are and he will do anything, align himself with anyone to accomplish it. Roy, trust me."

In all the time he had been in Port Charles he had not had a lot of contact with Alexis. But, looking into her eyes at that moment, he knew that honor and respect were not just words to her. She lived her life by them. He knew in that moment that this was a woman he could trust. Placing his hand on hers that still lay on his arm he nodded his agreement.

"I'll call Sonny and set up a meeting for this evening. I'll offer a truce."

Standing up to go, Alexis left Roy with one last thought. 

"Felicia loves you. Don't make her regret it. Find a way to be content with the man you are right now. He's actually a pretty good guy."

Roy watched her walk out the door and made a promise to himself. 'When this is over, I'll find a way to repay you Alexis for reminding what is important in life.'


	12. Chapter 12

****

Chapter 12

Disconnecting the call he had been eavesdropping on, Mac handed the cellphone back to Zander.

"Ok, I have work to do now."

"Wait a minute, Mac. We're not done yet. We need to make another call in about 5 minutes."

"Who?"

"Alexis wants to talk to you before you go back to the precinct."

"Ok." After 5 minutes had passed Zander gave him the number and he called Alexis.

"Alexis, Mac here. You want your detective badge now or later?" 

Laughing softly at his joke she paused and got back down to business. 

"We are still off the record right, Mac?"

"Yeah, for now. But, you have to know that I am going after this guy with everything I've got."

Placing her hand on her heart she thought of Kristina.

"Mac, I know that cop mind of yours is processing all kinds of angles right now on how to go about getting this guy. I am asking you to stop for a moment and listen to me. Roy is meeting with Sonny this evening and they are going to agree to a truce for the sole purpose of taking Alcazar down. I want you at that meeting, but I want you there as a citizen, not as the police commissioner. This guy has to be taken down legally and right now Sonny and Roy are in gangster mode. Can you do that for me, Mac? Can you trust me enough to believe that I know more about the men involved than you do? I know how Sonny's mind works and I know enough about Roy to be sure of him as well. I am asking you to trust me, Mac? Trust me with the lives of Felicia, Maxie and Georgie."

Hearing the resolve in her voice he remembered all the times she had stood in the police department defending her clients with the same resolve he was hearing now. He also remembered that her caseload win/loss ratio was higher than any other lawyer in the country and that was with a mobster as a client.

"Let me know what time and I'll be there."

"And Mac, don't worry about getting Felicia to me. She's at Wyndemere now waiting for me. Nicholas called her for me. She's safe there Mac." 

"Thanks, Alexis. I should have known you would take care of her."

"One more thing, Mac. Keep Taggert away from all of this. Keep him away from Sonny. We don't need him antagonizing Sonny every chance he gets. There is too much at stake and we are going to have enough on our hands dealing with the egos that are already involved here."

Hearing the sarcasm in her voice he laughed. 

"You have my word. I think Taggert is due for a vacation anyway."

"Thanks, Mac. Let me talk to Zander a minute."

Passing the phone to Zander, Mac slapped him on the back and left.

"Hey, you ok?" 

Listening closely to her voice Zander tried to figure out how she was doing. She must be exhausted by now and he wanted to make sure she wasn't upset as well.

"Hi, Zander. I'm fine. It's been a pretty full day. How are you doing?"

"I'm great. You know, that Mac is a pretty decent guy when he's not playing cop."

"He's a pretty decent guy even when he is playing cop. Okay, you ready for the next step? Still in this with me?"

"All the way. We're partners aren't we?" 

Zander was having trouble with that lump in his throat again. Damn women. Alexis meant more to him than anyone else and he would do anything for her now.

"Ok, you have to talk to Sonny now. Tell him the plan and what we discussed. Tell him Mac will arrive first, then Roy. Make sure the cellphone is on when you enter Sonny's. Wear a shirt with a pocket on front so the cellphone will have a clear reception. When it's over meet me back at the apartment for a late supper. You might want to stop and pick up something at Kelly's unless you want to practice your cooking skills some more."

Chuckling with her he replied. 

"Not on your life. I refuse to be turned into a glorified hash slinger even for you. I have plans for my life now."

"Well, that sounds interesting. You'll have to tell me about it over take-out this evening. See you then... Hey partner, take care of yourself out there and I love you."

"Yeah, right." Blushing profusely Zander turned off his cellphone and headed to Sonny's place.

______________

"Johnny, if you're going to be my bodyguard you're going to have to show yourself this time. Johnny?"

Alexis had reached the launch that would take her to Wyndemere. Smiling to herself she could imagine the dilemma Johnny found himself facing at that moment. He was on strict orders to stay out of sight, but he couldn't very well tail her while she was on a boat. Taking pity on him and knowing she needed to keep her baby safe, she called to him.

"Hello, Ms. Davis. You had me going there for a moment. But, you knew that didn't you?"

"Yeah, I couldn't resist. You've done very well staying out of my way. I'm sure your boss is aware of my every move though, right?"

"No, ma'am. I have orders to keep you safe, not tattle on your whereabouts. He doesn't know you went to see Roy."

"I know I'm crossing a line here, but will you give me your word that you will keep it between us. I've placed myself in the middle of a war that could cost me even more than it already has, but I don't have a choice here. If you are going to shadow me, I need to know I can trust you to keep my movements confidential."

She was a classy lady. He had always admired her. She didn't back down from anyone or anything. She fought for what she believed in and he respected her. She stood loyal to his boss on countless occasions and all she got in return was a dead sister. He knew he was crossing a line himself, but he didn't like the way she had been treated. She didn't deserve it.

"Ms. Davis, you have my complete loyalty. What you do stays between us. Whatever you need, just ask."

Briefly touching his arm she smiled. 

"Thanks, Johnny. You know, my sister liked you. Always thought you were real cute." 

Watching him turn beet red she laughed openly and without reserve for the first time since Kristina died. 

"Come on you big softy, let's go. I have a friend to meet."


	13. Chapter 13

****

Chapter 13

Pacing back and forth Sonny was waiting for Zander. The boy had called and told him he was on his way and that they needed to talk. Man, he wanted a drink. Crossing to the bar he picked up the decanter of scotch then put it back down. No, I will not have my senses dulled by liquor. Not when she needs me to end this. 

"Hey beautiful, you hanging around here somewhere?"

**__**

"Right here where you left me and you're doing fine. Just keep focused and everything will fall into place."

Closing his eyes he breathed easier. "Thanks beautiful. I needed that."

**__**

"Anytime, handsome."

Smiling at the insanity of what was becoming so familiar to him he crossed to the door, opened it and welcomed Zander in.

"What are you smiling at? You look like the cat that just ate the canary."

"No, just drawing on a little inner strength."

Nodding knowingly at Sonny's unguarded words he nodded his own agreement.

"Yeah, I've been doing the same thing myself all day. She's quite a classy lady isn't she."

Meeting Zander's gaze Sonny opened up a little more. 

"Yeah, she is. I miss her."

"Sonny, she misses you too. She's just not ready to let go of the anger yet."

"You spoke to her. I mean about... me?"

"Well, not exactly. She refuses to discuss you." Seeing Sonny's face fall Zander figured now was as good a time as any to start the ball rolling in getting the two of them back together.

"You know Sonny, all you have to do is sit back and think about what's really going down here." 

Frowning and not understanding what Zander was talking about he went to the bar again. Remembering his promise to himself he walked away from the bar and settled down opposite Zander.

"Let's not play games, Zander. What are you getting at?"

"Ok, let's start with the memorial service for Kristina. Did you not wonder why there were so few people there? It was by invitation only. The only ones who were invited were the ones she held responsible for Kristina's death, her best friends Jax and Ned, the new DA, her nephew, and the Quartermaines, Jason's family. The only other guests there were the women who support the men that have played such a major part of her life since she's been in Port Charles. She didn't even invite me. She was very selective. Did you not wonder about that, Sonny?"

Listening to Zander, Sonny began to see what he was saying. 

"Why, Zander? Why did she not invite you?"

"I figure mainly because of my temper and to try to protect me from what she was planning. She knew if I heard any part of what she was going to say to the three people she held responsible for Kristina's death, then I would probably do something to mess up what she was trying to accomplish. Since she told you she was dropping you as a client, you kept getting in her face. You wouldn't let go and she wanted to separate herself from the danger that you live around. I figure by going off on you she felt that would be the best way of making you angry enough at her that you would finally leave her alone. Also, I don't think she wanted a lot of people there to witness her attack on you. I think she was in some way still trying to protect you even though she was so angry."

Giving enough time for his words to sink in Zander went to the bar and poured himself a glass of water. Wondering if he was going too far, he mentally shrugged his shoulders and reasoned that since he had gone this far he might as well finish it. He stole a glance at Sonny and winced as he witnessed the torment on Sonny's face. He figured he had best finish this fast since he still needed to tell Sonny what Alexis was up to today.

"Sonny, I'm going to get pretty personal here, but you need to hear this so you'll know where a lot of the anger is coming from that Alexis is feeling. If she didn't mean so much to me I'd keep my mouth shut, but she's hurting and it doesn't look like the hurt is going to end any time soon unless you do something."

Sonny was finding it hard to breathe. He could not believe just how far his head had been stuck up his butt. He could see it clearly. She had maneuvered and manipulated the whole service. She had every right to come at him the way she did. He deserved it. But he was so blinded by his anger at Roy's presence, his own guilt and trying to settle Carly that he didn't notice what guests were there. Even in completely losing control of herself she protected him as much as she could. Remembering her words, he saw her face in his mind. It devastated her to mention the deaths that had followed him. He could see it plainly. Even in her grief she stood with him as much as she dared hoping that enough had been said to keep him away from her. Sighing heavily he heard Zander calling him.

"Sonny?"

"Go ahead, Zander. I need to hear it."

"I ran into her on the docks the day after Carly returned. She was trying her best to act like nothing was changed, but I could see it. You hurt her bad, Sonny. She hasn't been the same since. It's like the heart has gone out of her. She's in trouble. The two people that were the center of her world are gone. First, you and now Kristina. Sonny, if you have any feelings for her at all, you need to try to help someway."

Laughing ironically Sonny stood and moved toward the balcony doors. "If I have any feelings for her at all... Zander as ironic as that statement is I find it even more ironic that it is you that will hear me say it out loud for the very first time. I love her. She's in my blood and I will never be able to shake her. I am in love with her and she wants nothing to do with me. How absolutely 'par for the course' that is for my life."

Zander reckoned he had said enough and as the day was passing he needed to get to the reason Alexis sent him back to Sonny in the first place.

"Sonny, you'll have time to fix that later, but right now I need to tell you why I am here. You need to remember the message she told me to tell you earlier though before I go on with this."

Rejoining Zander, Sonny put away his musings and concentrated on what Zander was saying. 

"You mean about her leaving if I didn't back off?"

"Yea, she really knows you doesn't she?"

Punching Zander playfully to take the edge off his words he made his own point. 

"Just spill the rest of it and lay off. You made your point."

"Ok, she has asked that I be allowed to be in on your meeting with Roy this evening."

"How does she know... never mind." Looking at Zander knowingly he let that one slide. 

"What will be your purpose for being here?"

"Her answer to that question is 'Trust me'. Not trust me Zander, but trust her."

Shaking his head in wonder Sonny knew in that moment how Roy must have felt when taking orders from his backer.

"You know if I didn't love her and trust her with my life, this conversation wouldn't be happening."

"To be honest I'm having a little trouble believing your going with this and I'm standing right here witnessing it. Anyway, this morning Alexis had a meeting with Roy."

Swearing under his breath, Sonny stood and began pacing again.

"What is she thinking, Zander? Kristina has already died, does she have a death wish too?"

"Wait a minute, Sonny. She took every precaution imaginable. She not only had Johnny watching her back, but me and Mac were in the next room listening to her conversation by way of her cellphone that she left in her pocket. She knows everything from the beginning now. Roy told her everything. You would really have been proud of her. Hell, Mac offered to make her a detective on the spot."

"Mac?"

"Yea, but from the moment she called him to start all this he agreed to go off the record. Nothing he has heard today will end up at the PCPD."

"How did she manage that?"

"You're not going to believe this but it's the truth, she sent him a message through me, just like she did you."

"Can I ask what the message was?"

"Yea, she said it'd be ok, if I told you. Quote, 'For the three most important girls in your life... Trust me.' Unquote. And before you ask, this is what she said to Roy, Quote 'I am asking you to trust me. Trust that I know Sonny. He is ready to end this as much as we are and he will do anything, align himself with anyone to accomplish it.' Unquote. Sonny, she knows she's stepping over the line here with you, but she's asking you to believe in her just one more time. And since you are obviously having a hard time with this, I'll finish this up by telling you that Mac has agreed to join the meeting this evening as a citizen. He will leave his badge at home on this one. Oh and one more thing, she made Mac promise to reassign Taggert so he wouldn't be getting on your case through all of this."

"So she is asking me to work with an enemy, a police commissioner who has agreed to leave his badge at home and a former employee who turned his back on me and betrayed me. She must have a lot of faith in me."

Watching Sonny process everything Zander laid his last thought out there and waited. 

"She does have a lot of faith in you, Sonny. She always has."


	14. Chapter 14

****

Chapter 14

Arriving at Wyndemere Alexis moved closer to Johnny and placed her hand on his arm.

"Johnny, there are enough guards hanging around this place that you can relax for a while."

"I'd rather not, if you don't mind Ms. Davis. Let me do my job, ok?"

"Ok, if you insist. I'll send you out something to eat in a few minutes."

"Thanks."

Smiling back at him she entered the home of her nephew. She hated this place. It held nothing but bad memories for her. She lost Chloe here. Shaking the memories away she went in search of Felicia. Entering the living room she saw her friend waiting anxiously.

"Hi Felicia. How are you?"

"Worried sick. What are you up to?"

"You'll see, but first we have to talk. Have you seen Nicholas?"

"Yes, he needed to leave, but he told me you would find what you asked for in the study. Come on Alexis, you're driving me crazy here."

Understanding her friend's anxiousness Alexis smiled at her comfortingly and hugged her.

"Come on, let's go to the study."

Leading Felicia through the ornate foyer and into the study she found what she asked Nicholas to set up for her on the desk.

"Have a seat, Felicia." Walking behind the desk she sat down and reached toward the phone system Nicholas laid out for her. Dialing the kitchen first she ordered something to be sent out to Johnny then dialed Zander's number and put him on the speakerphone.

"Hey, is that you Alexis?"

"Yes, Zander. I have you on the speakerphone and Felicia is with me. Where are you now?"

"I'm outside Sonny's just about to go in."

"Ok, do you know if the other two have arrived yet?"

"No, they aren't here yet. Sonny and I agreed that I would be in place before the others got here. He agreed to everything, Alexis. I'm putting the phone in my pocket now and going in."

"Ok, Zander. Hey partner, be careful."

"No problem. Sonny's got my back on this one. Talk to you after it's over."

Alexis hit another button on the phone system then sat back and studied Felicia whose jaw was headed toward the floor.

Laughing Alexis raised one hand toward her friend. "You have my word this is on the up and up."

"Shhhhh.. they can hear you." Felicia's mind was going ninety to nothing and couldn't settle on one cohesive thought.

"Don't worry, we can hear them, but they can't hear us. Listen..."

**__**

knock, knock , knock

"Zander, come on in."

"Hey, Sonny. How much time do we have?"

"Wait a minute, come here a second... I know you're there Alexis, and thanks."

Felicia did not know exactly what was going on, but she saw Alexis' head bow and a single tear escape the corner of her eye.

"Anything I can do to help, Alexis?"

"Right now Felicia, this is more about you than it is about me. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Now, let's have a quick chat before Sonny's guests arrive. You are going to hear a very unusual conversation tonight between 3 men and you know all 3 of them. I'm still rather stunned that I could get them all in one room together."

"Who are you talking about? Alexis you're killing me with this cloak and dagger stuff. Just tell me."

"Sonny Corinthos, Mac Scorpio and Roy DiLucca."

"You've got to be kidding me. How did you do that? Why did you do that?"

"The object here is to end a war that never should have been started, a war that has cost me my sister. When it got right down to it, the boys were able to see things my way."

"But Mac is the police commissioner."

"Not tonight he isn't. He will be there strictly as a citizen of Port Charles."

"Oh, you're good."

"I am, aren't I! Wait... here we go. Sit back this may get a bit bumpy."

______________

Sonny was nervous. He knew that Alexis would hear everything that would be said tonight. It was a very disconcerting thought. Shrugging his shoulders to release a little tension he walked to the door to let in his first guest.

"Mac. Come in and make yourself comfortable. The bar is stocked help yourself."

"By your welcome, I would guess that you have talked to Alexis."

"No, just her partner Zander here."

"That's quite a big step for you isn't it?"

"Mac, you have no idea what this is costing me at this very moment." Sonny couldn't resist teasing Alexis about the predicament she had put him in.

_________________

"Alexis, are you ok. You're face is mighty red."

"I never thought I would ever be able to get Sonny at a disadvantage. I'm not sure I can listen to this with a straight face. It's priceless."

"You really love him don't you?"

Shhhh... I don't want to miss any of this."

_________________

"Mac, what does it mean to Roy and I that you are here without a badge tonight?"

"It means the playing field is level. Neither of you will end up in jail tonight or any other night from something that is said in this room about the current war."

"Tell me how she got you to agree to that."

"She asked me to trust her. What about you?"

"Same thing, she asked me to trust her. I guess by both of us being here it goes without saying that the woman is worthy to be trusted by both the law abiding and the not so law abiding citizens."

"I guess you could say that, since she has the life of my daughters in her hands as well."

"What do you mean, Mac?"

"It is my hope that once we've settled this current war I can use her considerable influence in cleaning up a few other matters."

________________

"Ok Felicia, what does that mean? He's your former husband, what is he getting at?"

"I believe he just told Sonny that he is going to try to use your influence over Sonny to get the organization out of Port Charles."

That was a possibility that Alexis had not considered and it wasn't very smart on Mac's part. Leaning forward apprehensively she whispered... "Oh Mac, please don't do anything you're going to regret."

__________________

"You never know what kind of possibilities lurk out there, Mac."

Sighing with relief he went to the door to admit Roy who just arrived. Mac had hit him with something he wasn't prepared to discuss.

"Roy, come on in. Thanks for coming. Can I get you something to drink?"

"I don't know that I'll be staying that long. What's Mac doing here? Zander, you settin' me up."

"No Roy, this is on the up and up. Mac is not on duty tonight. Nothing that is said here tonight goes any further than just the ears in this room. He's one of us tonight."

__________________

"Nice touch, Zander. He just covered for you and I, Felicia. I'm going to have to hug that boy for thinking on his feet. He's definitely got potential."


	15. Chapter 15

****

Chapter 15

Filling a tumbler full of whiskey, Sonny gave it to Roy and asked that they join him at the dining room table figuring the acoustics would be better there for Alexis.

As each of the four sat down, Zander pulled a manila envelope from inside his shirt and addressed the others. 

"I was sent here with a message for you guys." 

Opening the envelope he took out an 8" x 10" photo and laid it upside down in the middle of the table. 

"I was asked to remind each of you to remember what this war has already cost a friend of ours." 

Reaching again toward the photo he turned it over to reveal a picture of Kristina.

_________________ 

Alexis stood and walked away from the desk.

Seeing the grief overtake her friend again, Felicia went to her and put her arm around her.

"You asked them to trust you, now it's your turn to trust them."

"Thanks, Felicia."

_________________

"Roy, I'm laying everything on the line tonight. As far as I am concerned you and I just met and we have no history. Can you accept that and help us end this war?" 

Sonny knew it would have to be him who called the truce between Roy and himself. Roy had to see that he was sincere in his wish to start fresh. Lifting his hand he extended it across the table and waited.

Roy hesitated just a fraction of a second before taking Sonny's hand and shaking it in agreement that a truce was now in place.

"We start here and now. I guess I should start the ball rolling here and come clean about how this all started.

__________________

Alexis and Felicia sat quietly listening as Roy lay out step-by-step what had transpired since finding the original million dollars. Not really realizing it they had mutually moved to the sofa in the room and sat holding hands while the men they loved worked together to find a solution to end the violence.

Alexis wasn't really concerned anymore about the how, her goal had already been satisfied. She was able to bring them all together. Something they were unable and unwilling to do on their own. As she half-heartedly listened to the conversation, she let her mind wander and relived the moments she shared with Sonny over the past two years. Feeling her heart begin to soften, she returned her focus to Kristina and the fact that she lost her life due to the war that was raging now on the waterfront. A waterfront that was owned almost entirely by Sonny.

Felicia felt Alexis tighten her hold on her and glanced up to see what the problem was. In all of her life she had never seen such an agonized look in someone's eyes. Turning toward her, she squeezed Alexis' hand enough to draw her attention.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Yes, but I can't until they finish and I talk to Zander one more time."

"Sounds like they're wrapping it up now. Let's go see."

___________________

Standing to stretch, Sonny looked around the table at his guests and felt satisfied. The plan they mutually formulated sounded good. Shaking Mac and Roy's hand he escorted them to the door and let them go. Turning to Zander, he smiled.

"Well that went better than I thought it would."

"You did good, Sonny. You were almost human."

Laughing at the good natured teasing Sonny stepped closer to Zander.

"It's over Alexis. We can handle it from here. I'd like to keep the picture though if you don't mind. Zander can give me your answer in the morning."

Refocusing on Zander, Sonny walked him to the door. 

"Zander, why don't you come by in the morning and we'll get started, ok?"

"I'll need to check with Alexis first, but I don't think it will be a problem. Wait a minute my pager is going off..." 

Checking the pager he reached to pull the cellphone out of his pocket.

"Something wrong, Alexis?" Listening a moment he glanced at Sonny. He turned the phone off, put it back in his pocket and returned to the table. Picking up the picture and studying it a moment he walked back to Sonny and handed it to him.

"She said it was fine for you to have the picture. I'm worried about her, Sonny. I could tell she had been crying just now by her voice. Look, I'm going to stay with her tonight, so I'll see you in the morning sometime."

"Ok, Zander. Be careful out there." 

Watching Zander hit the elevator button Sonny felt the need to call him back. 

"Zander, wait." 

Joining him in the hall, Sonny laid his hand on his shoulder. 

"You handled yourself very well tonight. I was proud of you. Let's talk about that other plan of yours in the morning. I'd like to help."

"Thanks, Sonny. See ya later."

___________________

Disconnecting the call, Alexis returned to sit beside Felicia on the sofa. 

"He has the ability to destroy me, but he also has the ability to make me love him beyond reason. You want to know why I needed to talk to you? It is because you are standing where I was standing two years ago. But Felicia, before I continue I need to know that I can trust you to keep my confidences. Whatever we discuss has to be kept between us. Can I count on you for that?"

"Alexis after what you have done for me and those I love, you have my undying loyalty for the rest of my life. We are friends first and always."

"Thank you. I can see where you are headed with Roy. And I like and respect you too much to let you continue on your present course without warning you. So, I am going to tell you what I was never able to tell my sister until she was on her deathbed. Sonny and I started out in a strict attorney/client relationship. Over time and because of a lot of different circumstances we became friends. Somewhere in all of it the line between friendship and something more became blurred and we ended up in a relationship neither one of us knew what to do with. Now, almost 5 months later, here I sit in love with a married man, who is partially responsible for the death of my sister, a man I don't want anywhere near me and I am carrying his child."

Felicia's heart broke at the pain she heard come from her friend as she related what she had been through. So this is what put the agony in her eyes. Reaching toward Alexis, she pulled her into her arms and rocked her gently while she cried.

"Don't worry, I understand what you are trying to tell me. I couldn't see it until now."

Pulling away from Alexis, Felicia gazed at her questioningly.

"So tell me, counselor just what are we going to do about this. I don't believe either one of us has what it takes to completely walk away from what we feel. We just weren't built to deny truth. And frankly, I think we need to haul off and kick them both in the butt until they straighten up."

Laughing at her friend Alexis reached and pulled Felicia into another quick hug.

"Thanks, Felicia. I needed to laugh. There has been precious little of it in my life since all this started and believe me I've thought about kicking Sonny, but it wasn't his butt I was thinking about."

"Well there's an idea."

Watching Felicia anxiously, Alexis wanted to ask her a favor, but didn't quite know how to go about it. 

"Um... Felicia, I wanted to... um... ask... a..."

"Ok, now that's just downright insulting. Why are you stammering around like you're afraid of me? Spit it out girl."

"You know Felicia, I do believe you have a bit of Kristina in you. Which is what I need because quite honestly I am scared to death about having this baby and I need a friend to help me get through it. Kristina was supposed to be here for this, but well... you know. So I'm looking for a replacement."

"You idiot. I'm your replacement. You just call me whenever you need to, about anything. But, first things first. Does Sonny know? No, I can answer that myself. He doesn't and yes I understand why so we don't have to go there. You didn't honestly believe I would buy the Ned story after just hearing what you've been up to the last couple of years and what are you laughing so hard at? Alexis, what are you laughing at?"

"You. Has anyone ever told you to breathe, Felicia? I think I'm going to like having you around."


	16. Chapter 16

****

Chapter 16

Entering her apartment, Alexis fell onto the sofa exhausted by the day's activities. Bringing her hand up to caress her child she smiled warmly.

"Hi, little one. How did you fare today? It was certainly interesting wasn't it? You think we should take Mac up on his offer to become detectives? No, I don't think so either. We do just fine as attorneys. It seems your daddy is finding his heart again. But don't worry, that's just an observation."

**__**

"Are you sure about that Alexis?"

"Kristina, surely you are not going to start in on me now after the day I've had."

**__**

"No, just trying to keep you honest."

"I love you dearly, but you and I are not going to have this conversation. I've made my decision and there's nothing left to be said about it."

**__**

"I'm not saying anything. But, you need to remember I have inside information. Remember it's your heart that I'm living in and it's kind of crowded in here."

"Ok, now that's just so not fair. You know I am not going to take a chance on losing you again, so you leaving my heart won't happen. But Kristina, could you lighten up a bit. I'm not strong enough to fight you both… not tonight."

**__**

"Time Alexis. All you need is time."

Jumping at the sound of someone at the door, Alexis stood wearily and went to see who it was. Seeing Zander with a handful of take-out calmed her anxiety and she let him in with an exaggerated flourish. She needed to laugh again. It had felt so good laughing with Felicia. And Zander possessed a unique talent for making her laugh too.

"Hello Partner, what did you bring me? Took you long enough. Little Kristina is fighting mad at you for making her wait for her supper."

"Alexis..."

"Looks, like the Grille. Can you afford that, Zander? Well no matter, supper's on me anyway. Come on in the kitchen and let's get down to some serious business."

"Alexis..."

"Man, I am starving. I don't think we ate lunch. Did we eat lunch, Krissy?"

**__**

"ALEXIS..."

Whirling around at the sound of Zander shouting at her she stopped.

"Why are you yelling at me?"

Shaking his head unbelievably. He set the containers down on the table and leaned against it.

"How can you spew so much out of your mouth so fast and keep up with it all? Man, I feel like I need a sea-sick pill?"

Laughing at his analogy Alexis hugged him tightly. 

"This is what I needed, Zander. Just plain silliness and you came through for me."

Hearing the phone ring she went to answer it.

"Alexis Davis."

"Not checking your phone messages anymore?"

"Hi, Ned. How are you?"

"The question is how are you and more to the point where have you been, I was worried."

"Just trying to get back to a normal routine. I've been out protecting the world again. That's my job remember."

Hearing the relaxation in her voice and not wanting to chase it away, Ned didn't question her about who she had been trying to protect this time. It was good to hear a somewhat normal voice from her again.

"I remember. How about I bring breakfast over again in the morning?"

Looking toward Zander and waiting for his response while she told Ned that Zander would be staying the night and that breakfast would not be necessary, she winked her thanks at him when he nodded yes.

"How about we have lunch tomorrow instead?"

"Ok, that sounds great. I'll meet you at the Grille at noon. Sleep tight, Alexis."

"Night Ned, and thank you."

Hanging up the phone and returning to the dining room to join Zander she sat across from him and cocked her head to the side studying him. 

"What?" He asked.

"I didn't put you on the spot did I? I mean it's great having you here and I thought it might be nice to just spend some time together."

"Yea, it's fine. I already told Sonny I would be staying here tonight and before you go all mad on me, no he didn't ask me to and no he is not working an angle here. This is where I want to be, besides I have something I want to talk to you about."

Reaching over to lay her hand on his she smiled gently at him. "I'm sorry, Zander. When it comes to him I'm just very raw right now and I tend to lash out at those I love when I am trying to protect myself and keep a bit of distance between myself and what could harm me."

Laying his own hand over hers, he gazed at her knowingly.

"It's ok. I really do understand. You already know I do the same thing. Even though Sonny and I came to our own understanding tonight, I am here for you. You come first. You've been there for me and now it's my turn."

"Thanks, Zander. That means a lot to me."

Reaching for the plate he filled for her she began eating.

Zander could tell something was on her mind and lay his fork down with just enough force to bring her attention back to him.

"Ask me."

"What?" Her eyes widened a bit feigning innocence.

"Look, I may miss a lot, but I think I'm getting the hang of this thing of being able to tell when something is on your mind. So, ask me."

Alexis' shoulders dropped a bit in resignation. There were questions she needed answers to and the only way she was going to get any answers or insight into the questions that were taunting her was to simply ask. It was her fear of the unknown that stood in her way. So she hedged again.

"I'm afraid to, Zander. If I don't know what's going on I can stay angry. But, I know something is up with him. I want to stay angry. I need to stay angry. Zander, I can't let him get to me again. He almost destroyed me the last time. I can't let that happen again. I have my baby to consider now."

"It's ok, Alexis. Let's just finish our supper and talk about something else. I understand where you're coming from so let's leave it alone for now."

"You know, you're a pretty smart guy, Zander. But I shouldn't be surprised since smart people are the only ones I surround myself with."

"Yea, smart enough to know that you got the better end of that left-handed compliment."

Patting his hand she laughed fully and sat back in amazement at the boy who sat in front of her.

"Uh, Alexis. Would you stop staring at me like that? Looks like you're about ready to hug me again and I really think I've had my quota for the day so back off would ya? Besides we need to talk about my registration tomorrow."

Giggling at the look on his face, his last statement registered a few seconds later than it normally would have.

"Registration?"

"Yea, at PCU."

He tried ducking, but wasn't quite fast enough and got sucked into another hug. Fighting for breath he began laughing himself.

"Zander, you just made me want to dance for the first time in months. How many classes are you going to take? You're going to live with me while you're a student. That way I can help anytime you need it. What courses are you going to take? Have you decided on a major? Oh, this is so exciting..."

"Alexis... Alexis... **STOP**, you're giving me a headache. Since I don't remember all the questions you just threw at me I'll answer the last one I do remember. I'm studying law."

He stood patiently watching the tears fall down her cheeks as she reached for him again pulling him into the most loving embrace he had ever known before. 

Wrapping his arms around her he let her cry. He knew she would approve of his choice, but the flood of emotion that swept over her took him by surprise.

Releasing him, Alexis stepped back and wiped her tears away. 

"I am not going to apologize for those tears, Zander. For the first time in months, you gave me happy tears."

Grabbing his hand she led him into the living room as the realities of what he wanted began to work their way into her mind.

"Ok, this is going to cost. Law School is expensive, but we can get around that."

"Whoa, wait a minute. Alexis, the money is not an issue. That's already been taken care of. I have a um... what do you call it... a benefactor who has agreed to see to the expense until I am set up and can repay him."

"Him?"

"Don't ask." 

He watched as a far away look came into her eyes and knew she guessed who he was talking about. It was going to be difficult for her to remain unaffected by it and he figured at that moment it was affecting her so much she felt the need to run.

"Um... as much as I want to sit here and talk about law school with you, I need some time to myself. Do you mind? Can we talk in the morning?"

"Sure, Alexis I understand. You just holler if you need anything. I'll be right here."

Leaning down she kissed his cheek. "Thanks, partner. See you in the morning."


	17. Chapter 17

****

Chapter 17

Closing the bedroom door behind her, Alexis sat heavily on her bed and put her head in her hands. 

"Kristina?"

**__**

"Sounds like you're having a bit of a problem."

"What am I going to do?"

**__**

"Survive, Just as you always do."

"How?"

**__**

"You already have the answer to that. One moment at a time. One step at a time. Reach into that part of you that holds your strength. There is more there than I knew possible. I've seen it. Now more than ever, I know how strong you are. And I know the depth of your ability to love and forgive."

"Please Kristina, don't ask me to. I can't. Not this time."

**__**

"I'm not asking you to do anything. Only you can decide to love. Only you can decide to forgive. It is your choice alone. I'm just letting you know that you already possess the ability to forgive. The only thing remaining is the choice, to forgive or not to."

Laying back onto the bed, Alexis drew her knees up to her chest and cried herself to sleep.

**__**

"I will watch over you tonight, my beautiful sister. You have taken the first step on the long road back. I see light where there was none before. You've opened the door just a little. It is enough for today. Rest now. You've earned it."

_________________

Waiting on the pier for Roy the next morning, Felicia went over her time with Alexis the previous night. Seeing what loving Sonny had cost her friend finally made her stop long enough to see what all of this mess could cost her. She had two beautiful girls whom she loved more than anything and Mac was still very much a part of her life if only as just a friend. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that a couple of years from now or sooner she could be standing in the same shoes Alexis now stood in. Felicia wasn't sure anymore if she wanted to take that risk.

"Felicia?"

"Hi, Roy."

"What happened to you last night? I called, but didn't get an answer on the machine."

"I spent the evening with Alexis."

"She sure is getting around lately. She came to see me yesterday morning."

"I know."

"You know?"

"She told me."

"What else did she tell you?"

Steadying her nerves, Felicia told Roy everything about the time she spent with Alexis the previous night including the fact that they heard everything said in the guys meeting.

"Roy, I am asking you to not get mad, but listen to me explain why."

"You don't have to explain. I know why. She's the one that's lost the most here. She put the meeting together. It is her right to know what's going on. And I figure she wanted you there so you could see first hand what being with me can cost you."

"You know, I didn't realize just how smart you are till just now."

"Fine time for me to decide what to be smart about though. Are you telling me you want to stop what's happening between us?"

"I don't know a whole lot about anything right now. What I do know is that I don't want my girls hurt. I don't want my friend hurt anymore. And I don't want you hurt either. So where does that leave us?"

"Do you have somewhere you can go that will be safe until this is over?

"I have an idea, but I'll need to talk to Alexis first."

"I want you as far away from me as possible until this is over. I want you to be safe and the only way that can be guaranteed is if you and I separate. Please don't fight with me on this. I'm learning the hard way what my decisions have cost me. I don't want any of the fallout to hit you. Can you do this for me, Felicia?"

"Before last night, I would have fought you on this. But, after seeing what Alexis has been through and what she has suffered because of all of this, I won't. She thought enough of me to let me see into her heart, to see the damage she has suffered at the hands of a man who thought more of what he could gain in this world than he did of her. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but you and Sonny are too much alike. I don't want to be hurt like that. And I love my girls too much to risk their lives by loving a man who loves himself more than he loves me."

"I understand, Felicia. When this is over and I get my head straightened out, maybe you'll let me call you and maybe we can start over."

"When you can call me and tell me you love me more than your ambition, I'll be here."

Backing away from him she saw how much her words had affected him. 

"Roy, I do love you and please be careful."

"I will and Felicia, whether you believe me or not, for what it's worth, I love you too."

"It's worth a lot Roy. See ya."

"See ya."

___________________

Sonny was waiting for Zander to arrive. They had decided to go together to the University for Zander to register. And he also needed to know if Alexis was all right after the previous days activities. She had been quite the busy bee seeing to the construction of their meeting the night before.

It still astounded him that in the space of a few short years she had generated such a level of confidence and total competence that two simple words from her held the capacity to bring anyone around to her point of view. **_'Trust me.'_** Everything that she was, everything she believed in and fought for was wrapped up in those two words.

He felt small next to her. She was such a giant in those things that mattered most in life. Character, principles, charity, friendship and love. Never before in his life had he wanted to be more like anyone else than he did right this moment. We wanted her to be able to look at him and see him the way he saw her. He needed to be able to look her in the eye and know she was proud of him.

Startled from his musings he walked to the door and let Zander in.

"Hey, man."

"You look like death warmed over. What's up with you, Sonny?"

"Didn't sleep very well last night."

"Well I did. Haven't slept that good in a long time." 

Zander knew he was asking for it, but it was time to up the ante where Sonny and Alexis were concerned. He needed to try and move them to the next level.

"Ok. Don't push it." 

Hesitating a brief moment Sonny finally asked the question he had been worrying over most the night. 

"She had a pretty intense day yesterday, is she ok?"

"Yea, she's ok this morning. She was ok when I got there last night, but things kinda went downhill."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say the six words that will tell you what frame of mind she is in right now are, 'He almost destroyed me last time'."

Hanging his head Sonny went to the couch and sat down.

"Sonny, it's just going to take a little time. She needs a little time. Just be patient."

"Zander if I thought I had a chance; if I thought I deserved one I would wait as long as she needed me to. But, she's right. What I did to her, what I didn't give her... no woman should ever have to live through that kind of pain. Look, let's go get you registered. Let me get something from upstairs and I'll be right down."

Waiting for Sonny, Zander wandered toward the desk and saw a video movie lying there. Curious as to what Sonny would find interesting to watch he picked it up. Reading the title he frowned. 'The Portrait of Dorian Gray'. Not heard of that one before. Turning the movie over to read its synopsis he found a post-it note with Sonny's handwriting.

_"What does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" _

Knowing he was pushing it, Zander put the tape inside his shirt just in time to see Sonny coming back downstairs. Noticing Sonny's red eyes he decided to play dumb and let it pass.

"Ready?"

"Yea, lets go."


	18. Chapter 18

****

Chapter 18

It was quiet at the PC Grille when Alexis arrived to meet Ned for lunch. She was glad. She spent a fitful night tossing and turning and she was tired. She hoped she was able to cover the circles under her eyes enough so that Ned wouldn't notice them. Catching sight of him across the room she went to join him.

"Hi, Ned."

"Still not able to sleep at night?"

"Good afternoon to you too, smartie. I'm fine. I'm headed home for a nap after lunch. Will that appease you?"

"Yes, that will appease me. What were you up to all day yesterday?"

Silently thanking the waiter for choosing that particular moment to take their order she allowed Ned to order for her while she tried to formulate an answer for her whereabouts of the day before. Ned simply would not understand her need to help end the violence in any way she could. Not wanting to lie to him she stood on the answer she gave him the night before on the phone.

"Like I told you, I was out defending the rights of the innocent. I have to get back to work sometime, Ned. If I don't, I'll go crazy from boredom. Oh, I did see Felicia yesterday."

Ned knew she was dodging him, which only meant it had something to do with Corinthos. And with everything that happened recently he was finally realizing that pushing Alexis on anything was not a good idea. It usually ended up badly or with Alexis just simply walking away. For the baby's sake he couldn't let that happen this time, so for the first time since knowing her he thought very carefully about the words that came out of his mouth.

"Alexis, all I am asking is that you be careful. I know that asking anymore than that would be pointless so just be careful. Now, what's up with you and Felicia?"

Picking her tongue up off the floor Alexis stared at Ned like his head had just rolled off his shoulders. Reaching toward him she lay the palm of her hand against his forehead.

"Alexis, what are you doing?"

"Checking for a fever. Come on, I need to get you to a hospital. Something is seriously wrong with you."

"What are you talking about, I'm perfectly fine. Sit down, you're making a scene."

Stepping to his side she bent over hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. Sitting back down she placed her hand on his.

"Do you know that is the first time you have not pushed your opinion on me, forced me to try to see your point of view and most of all trusted that I know what I'm doing? Ned, if we hadn't gone down that road already, I think I could fall for you all over again. BUT, not to worry. That path was worn out a long time ago. I do love you for being my friend though. I really needed it."

"Hey, like I said. I think Kristina left more of herself with me that I thought she did."

"Believe me, I know what you mean. She talks to..." 

Knowing how crazy she would sound Alexis stopped mid-sentence and changed her tactic. 

"I mean I talk to her on a regular basis. It helps me stay focused."

Arriving back home a couple of hours later, Alexis lay down on the couch for a nap. She was tired and needed to rest. She and Ned talked and laughed all through lunch and as pleasant as it was, it only served to increase her exhaustion. It was silently agreed between them that any subject that would cause anger, worry, or pain was off limits and they had simply enjoyed being together. When it was time to go, Ned pulled her into a hug.

"Did you feel her? She was here with us today."

"I know, Ned. I know. She's never more than a thought away from me."

Shifting onto her side she unconsciously lay her hand upon her child and caressed her.

"Kristina?"

**__**

"I'm here."

"He misses you terribly."

**__**

"I know, but he'll be ok. How are you?"

"That's a loaded question and I think you already know the answer."

**__**

"Yes, I know. But, you need to breathe life into the words so that you can't hide from them."

"Ohhhhhh... Kristina. You always did have the ability to frustrate me beyond reason. Can we shelve this until I get some rest? You know, little Krissy needs rest too, oh wait... I believe it was you telling me that before, right?"

Hearing her laugh, Alexis waited for her sister to agree with her.

**__**

"Ok, you made your point. Krissy. I like the name. Sounds light, breezy and free. You just earned a few hours from being harassed. Sleep, beautiful sister. I'll be here when you wake." 

Chuckling at finally winning at least one argument with Kristina, Alexis fell into a peaceful and dreamless sleep. She slept so soundly that she did not hear Zander come in and leave again.

Waking a few hours later, Alexis stretched and lay there a few minutes not really wanting to get up yet. She felt rested and wondered when Zander would show up. 

Slowly sitting up she caressed the baby absently and noticed a package on the coffee table. Picking it up she pulled the note from Zander off of it and read it.

"Alexis, I hope you will see what I saw when I found this earlier. Don't be mad. You know how much I care about you and want you to be happy. If I crossed a line that didn't need to be crossed I'm sorry. I'll back off if you really want me to. But, you need to know he is suffering every bit as much as you are. You lost your sister. He lost you. I'll be out late, but I will come home this evening. Just want to give you some time alone. Zander"

'Oh, Zander. It's not the same.'

**__**

"Isn't it. What's different, Alexis?"

"Please Kristina, not now. I'm on overload. Let me process this on my own for awhile."

**__**

"All right. Mind if I hang around though, in case you get into trouble and need a little help?"

"That's more than all right. I feel better knowing you're near. And thanks Kristina, for understanding."

**__**

"Anytime."

Opening the package, Alexis pulled the video out. She recognized the film immediately. Feeling the post-it note on back she turned the video over and noticed Sonny's handwriting. 

_"What does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" _

"Oh, Sonny. What are you doing to me?"

**__**

"Looks like he's re-evaluating his life."

"Kris..tin..a. You promised to let me do this on my own for awhile."

**__**

"I know, I couldn't resist. This is so exciting. Do you know what this means?"

"**No**, you haven't given me a chance to formulate a single thought much less figure out what the man is up to now. Would you please let me think a minute?"

**__**

"Hey, who am I to stop my sister from trying to figure out the man she loves?"

"Thank you. And if you interrupt me again I'm going to throw something at you.

**__**

"Wouldn't that be a little hard?"

Laughing uncontrollably at the bantering back and forth, Alexis picked up a pillow and hit herself in the chest with it. 

"I sure am glad no one is around to hear this. I'd be put away for good. Now leave me alone, Kristina."

**__**

"Ok, see ya later, sis."

"See ya later."

Taking the tape from its cover Alexis put it in the VCR and settled down to watch the movie that Sonny had obviously found worthy of a second look.


	19. Chapter 19

****

Chapter 19

Zander went to Sonny's after he left the videotape with Alexis. He was beginning to feel guilty about taking it in the first place, but he figured what he was trying to accomplish made up for it. Still, he felt he needed to at least let Sonny in on what he had done. Reaching the penthouse he waited patiently for Max to announce his arrival and then stepped in glancing around the room until he found Sonny.

"Sonny?"

Needing a break from the constant stress he was under Sonny decided to have a little fun with Zander, so hiding the smile that threatened he walked toward him and stood two steps in front of him.

"You got something to tell me?"

"Uh... Yeah, I do." Zander looked up at the ceiling almost wishing he had not taken the tape. 'Oh man, is he angry. Well best to just get it over with.' Taking a step backward to put a little more space between himself and Sonny he confessed. 

"I took it."

"Took what?"

"The tape off the desk."

"Don't you think you ought to return it?"

"I can't yet."

Sonny hadn't been expecting that particular response and the thought that suddenly hit him made him cringe.

"You didn't. Zander, please tell me you didn't take it to Alexis."

"Yeah, I did. But, wait a minute. Let me explain why, Sonny."

Hanging his head, Sonny dropped his shoulders. The boy was going to be the death of him yet. 

"Why Zander? Why did you do it? I'm trying my best to help you and you keep doing these crazy things. Why?"

"I'm just trying to help her, Sonny. I didn't do it to try and prove you were trying to change or anything like that. Sonny, she's hurting. She's in a constant fight day in and day out because of what she feels. It's tearing her up inside. I heard her last night. She cried herself to sleep. She talks to Kristina about you. And I don't even want to remember what that nightmare did to her. If I can provide a way to make it easier on her I have to do it."

Putting his hands on Zander's shoulders, Sonny squeezed gently and let go. He turned quickly hoping that the boy wouldn't see his face. Going to the bar he poured himself a glass of water and downed it in 3 swallows. Not being able to see clearly through the tears that distorted his sight, he stumbled to the balcony, opened the doors and stepped out. He was trying desperately to control the anger he was feeling. He couldn't remember a time when he had felt such an intense rage. And it was all directed inward… at himself. The anger was so intense that for the first time in his life he was afraid for himself; of what he could do given the right motivation. He called Zander out to him. With a ravaged voice he asked Zander to deliver a message for him.

"Zander, call Mac. Ask him if he'll meet with me here as soon as he can?"

"You ok, Sonny?"

"No Zander, I'm not. Could you hurry please?"

"Sure Sonny. I'll take care of it right now."

Watching Zander cross to the phone to make the call, Sonny tried desperately to pull himself together. He had a job to do and it was going to be the most difficult one of his life and it could very well cost him his life.

________________

Alexis sat staring at the black screen on the television. The movie had ended more than an hour ago, but she still sat staring; hating that part of herself that was weakening... not wanting to accept what Sonny was obviously trying to do for himself.

'Sonny, is it just another ploy to get to me?' Needing a friend to talk to, she walked over to the desk and picked up the phone to call Felicia.

"Felicia, hi. It's Alexis. Would you care to have dinner with me? I'll have the Grille send over something. I... I need someone to talk to... Thanks, Felicia. See you in a few."

"Kristina, please don't be mad. I need to talk to someone that's a little more grounded. Please don't be mad."

**__**

"I'm not mad. I'm just happy you have someone you can call. Actually, I think it's a good idea. You need more friends in your life. You have for a long time. How about I meet you just before bedtime for a little girl talk?"

"Thanks, Kristina. I love you."

**__**

"I love you, too."

____________________

Mac had just left and Zander was sitting at the dining room table stunned at what Sonny just put in place. He couldn't believe it. The stakes just went higher and now Sonny's life was in more danger than it had ever been before.

"Sonny, are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"I don't have a choice, Zander. Look, let's go for a walk. I need some fresh air. You up for it?"

"Yeah, as long as we got bodyguards watching your every move."

Laughing at Zander's concern for him he lay his arm across his shoulder. "It's not that big a deal. Let's go."

Reaching the street below, Sonny turned right and retraced the steps he had taken just a few days ago. Arriving at his destination he kneeled and honored God and Kristina by crossing himself.

Realizing where Sonny had brought him, Zander moved to the opposite side of the monument and placed his hand on top of the stone that lay before him. Hearing Sonny begin to speak with an unsteady voice he kept silent.

"I'm sorry, Kristina. You told me that because I had broken your sister's heart that mine would be broken as well. You were right. It is broken. It is broken because your sister is in agony because of me and I can't do anything to help her. It is broken because I realized too late that she is the most important person in this world to me and I took from her the one person that loved her unselfishly. Please forgive me for taking so much from her, for putting you in danger and for not listening to you when you tried to tell me what was in her heart. If it is any consolation to you now, know that I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe. The violence will end; I will see to it. You have my word on the grave of my mother."

Rising Sonny looked at Zander and watched the boy stand stoically trying to be strong for him. 

"Zander, I asked you to come with me for a reason. I want you to see what my life has cost me... cost those that I have loved most in the world. Because I placed myself higher than anyone else around me, destruction and violence has followed me most of my life. I looked at people as a means to an end, for what I could get out of them. Learn from my mistakes. Never put yourself first. I've lived my life always wanting more. How much does a man need before he is satisfied... before he can find happiness... before he can find peace? Zander, life is not about money, success, or possessions. Alexis taught me that. Life is about giving, loving, and being with that one person you were born to connect with. I have to find a way to satisfy the debt I owe to the people who have suffered at my hands. I have to find peace, Zander. Not for you or for Port Charles and not even for Alexis; but for me. I have to be able to live with myself. So, I need you to understand why I have to ask you to let me walk away... I need you to stay away from me for awhile."

Seeing Zander start to interrupt him Sonny raised his hand to stop him.

"I need you, Zander. I need you to stay close to Alexis. Please don't make me regret putting my trust in you. She is the most important person in both our lives. Help me keep her safe. If I don't do this she will never be safe. I need to make my life count for something. I need to find out if I can become an honorable man. She cannot know anything about what has taken place this evening. Can I depend on you, Zander?"

Walking around the head stone Zander offered his hand to Sonny to shake.

"Thank you, Sonny. For giving me a chance to prove myself to you... You have my word that what I've seen tonight stays between us. I will do whatever is necessary to protect her. If anything comes up that I can't handle I'll talk to Johnny. You can trust me, Sonny."

"There's one last thing, Zander. I set up a checking account for you today. It is quite a large sum of money. There is something I want you to do for me and I want it to be kept a secret as well. I left you the instructions in the account book that you can pick up at the bank tomorrow. It won't take all of the money, probably won't take a quarter of it. The rest of the money is for you. For your college expenses, to live on, whatever... If you want to invest any of it, you have a brilliant source of information living under the same roof with you. Zander, you're a good kid. Make the most of your life. If everything works according to plan I'll see you in a couple of weeks... If not... then tell her I died loving her."

Zander watched as Sonny walked away. He couldn't help the tears that were streaming down his face. Watching the darkness close behind his friend he felt an incredible sense of helplessness come over him. Realizing he may never see his friend again he made a promise to Sonny, 

"She will be safe, she will be loved and she will know that you loved her."


	20. Chapter 20

****

Chapter 20

Alexis opened the door to let Felicia in and stood a moment hesitantly. Alexis had always tried to keep herself at arms length from those around her, especially in difficult times and therefore had spent most of her life missing the warmth of being comforted by those who cared for her; those who didn't harbor selfish motives. And then Kristina entered her life. Kristina who touched those she cared for. Without reservation she reached out and touched them letting them know of her affection for them; that they were special and important to her. Alexis missed her touch; missed the feeling of belonging her sister's touch always gave her. Stepping closer to Felicia she put her arms around her friend and welcomed the warmth of comfort she received in return. Letting go quickly and ducking her head shyly Alexis invited Felicia in.

"Come on in. Thanks for coming, Felicia. You don't know how much I need someone to talk to right now. The Grille sent over a couple of steaks, but I'm not very hungry so I'll just sit with you and have a cup of tea. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called so late, actually I didn't realize it was so late."

"Alexis, it's fine. I told you to call whenever and I meant it. Besides I'm not hungry either. But, I did bring a couple of Key Lime pies. I mean it sounded like you needed a girl's night out. Care to share one with me?"

Nodding sadly she remembered the last time she sat with a friend eating Key Lime pie. Chloe had died that day. Shaking the memory away she led Felicia into the living room then went to get a couple of forks. Eating Key Lime pie at that particular moment was not what Alexis wanted, but she wouldn't hurt Felicia's feelings by telling her so. Fact of the matter was, Alexis had not indulged herself with that particular dessert since Chloe died. It was a painful reminder of her best friend.

Coming back to sit with Felicia she noticed the video box in her hand. 

"Did you check out this movie, Alexis?"

"No, I didn't, but I thought it would be mildly entertaining to watch again."

"You know, if we are going to do this pie justice we have to be totally honest with the conversations we have while we are indulging ourselves. I mean that's always been the rule."

**__**

"Finally, someone with a little sense to them."

"Shut up, Kristina."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, sorry Felicia. I tend to talk to myself sometimes."

"Don't be pulling my leg. You were talking to Kristina. How long has that been going on?"

"A few days now. It makes me feel better. I know it sounds crazy and I know if a good shrink got hold of it they'd lock me up and throw away the key. But, I miss her so much."

"You know, when Maxie was unconscious and waiting for her heart, she used to talk to me."

"Really?"

"Sure. Alexis, our minds do what is necessary to get us through the traumas of our lives. It is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Now, tell me where this movie came from."

"Zander brought it to me this afternoon. He picked it up from Sonny's desk. Turn the box over. That note is in Sonny's handwriting. Tell me what you make of it."

Felicia read the words written by Sonny and slid her eyes toward Alexis. Anyone who was familiar with this particular movie would know that the one concept that Sonny had written down reflected the core of what the movie was all about. Anyone centering on that one concept had to be weighing the pros and cons of his life. And Alexis was smart enough to know that. She was looking for a way out and Felicia was not about to give her one.

"I'd say someone is taking a good hard look at their life. I'd also be willing to wager that someone is looking for a way to change his life too. But, that's just my opinion."

"Actually I had come up with the same conclusion, but since my sense of direction has been off lately I needed someone else's opinion. What am I going to do, Felicia? We can never go back to the way it was. He is married now. How he could attach himself to that nut case is totally beyond me, but he did and that is that. So how do I stop loving him? How do I get my heart to let go of him? I can't go back to being his friend. It's not enough anymore. And even if I could, it is still too dangerous for me to have my child anywhere near him."

The more she talked the more upset she got and when the tears started she couldn't stop them. Leaning forward she put her head in her hands and sobbed.

Felicia moved closer and put her arms around Alexis and simply held her while she cried.

Feeling the trembling in Alexis' body she worried that her friends emotional state had reached the critical point that would endanger the baby. Felicia took hold of Alexis' face and turned her to look at her.

"You have to calm down now, Alexis. Think of the baby. This can't be good for her. You have to get on with your life. He made his choice, now you have to make yours. Do you want to sit in this apartment the rest of your life pining away for a man who isn't free to give you what you need? Do you only want to live half a life? You can't do that to your child. She deserves more than that from you. Ok, you loved a man and it didn't work out. So get up, dust yourself off and start over."

Smiling weakly at Felicia, Alexis picked up her fork and dug into the pie sitting in front of her, suddenly needing to focus on something else. She wanted Felicia to know how much she had helped her and was having trouble finding the right words. 

"Thank you, Felicia. That is exactly what I needed to hear. You're right. My daughter deserves more than what I've been giving her lately. You know, I have always prided myself on the choices I've made regarding the people I call friend. This time I believe I achieved the level of genius. Thank you."

"Glad I could help. Now, I think I need to hug my own daughters. You gonna be ok?"

"I will be fine. Give them a hug for me too. They don't know how lucky they are."

"Aw, shucks." Grabbing a last hug Felicia opened the door to leave. 

"You're just jealous, because I have two to your one."

"Oh, you are so bad. See ya later, Felicia."

"See ya later, Alexis."

Closing the door and locking it behind Felicia, Alexis stretched and realized she was quite tired. Turning the lights off in the front of the apartment she went to her bedroom to retire for the night.

**__**

"Well, if that's all it took, I could have done that."

"Hi, Kristina. Come to tuck me in for the night?"

**__**

"Actually, I'd like to talk about what just happened in the living room."

Well little sister, I just had my eyes opened that's all."

**__**

"That's all? Hey, I can feel what is going on inside of you, remember? You're actually feeling a little calm here."

"Yes, I know. Wonder how long it will last?"

**__**

"Hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Let's enjoy it while we can. You ready for bed?"

Yes, I am pretty tired. Are you going to stay with me awhile?

**__**

"For as long as it takes. How about I sing you to sleep tonight?"

"That sounds nice."

It must have been cold there in my shadow To never have sunlight on your face You were content to let me shine, that's your way. You always walked a step behind. So I was the one with all the glory While you were the one with all the strength A beautiful face without a name for so long A beautiful smile to hide the pain Did you ever know that you're my hero And everything I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle For you are the wind beneath my wings It might have appeared to go unnoticed But, I've got it all here in my heart I want you to know I know the truth, I would be nothing without you Did you ever know that you're my hero You're everything, everything I wish I could be I can fly higher than an eagle Cause you are the wind beneath my wings. **__**

"Good night, Alexis. Sweet dreams."

Lying there listening as Kristina's beautiful lilting voice filled her, Alexis let go of the pain and hurt she had hung on to for so long. Hearing the joy that filled her sister's voice she finally laid to rest the anxieties that had been such an enormous part of her every waking moment. Just before sleep claimed her she heard Kristina wish her good night. Whispering good night in return she turned over and paid tribute to the only one who could have created such a beautiful soul. 'Thank you God, thank you for my sister. For bringing her back to me'.


	21. Chapter 21

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Chapter 21 

It was the longest two weeks of his life and Zander was now waiting to see if Sonny would show up. He had no way of knowing if his friend was alive or dead and it was eating him up inside. The activity on the waterfront increased dramatically for awhile, but it eventually calmed down and Sonny conspicuously absent during it all. Zander kept his word to Sonny and Alexis knew nothing about the last night he saw Sonny. Now he was on his way home and eager to see her. As he walked along his thoughts turned to Alexis. Over the past couple of weeks something inside of her changed. She was more relaxed now. And if it were possible she looked more beautiful than ever. The haunted look was gone from her eyes and she laughed more than he could ever remember her laughing before. Felicia became a regular around the place and the three of them had taken to playing cards a couple of nights a week when his studies allowed. Sliding his key into the lock he opened the door to her apartment and looked around expectantly. Not seeing her immediately he called out.

"_ALEXIS_, you home?" 

Just as the question filled the air she came into the room from the kitchen, coffee cup in hand.

"Yes, I am and don't yell so loud. How were your classes today?" 

"Brutal. So much so that I think I need to take a walk. Care to join me and talk to me for a while?" 

Zander spent every evening pouring over his books and he usually didn't quite until after midnight. Alexis worried that he wasn't getting enough rest and nagged him constantly about getting more rest, but he refused to listen and just kept right on burning the midnight oil. She knew he was trying to make good and she knew that he wanted both Sonny and her to be proud of him. Her constant assurances weren't enough. He wanted to prove to them both that he could succeed on his own; that he could make something of himself. It touched her deeply. So wanting to give him every opportunity to relax after his day, Alexis agreed instantly.

"That sounds like a lovely idea, I'll be right with you." 

Zander nodded swiftly taking care not to seem overly anxious. Thirty minutes later the two of them were walking along the waterfront enjoying the sun and the warm breeze floating across the docks.

Alexis glanced over at Zander and noted his small smile.

"You have been quite busy lately, Zander. In fact, I haven't seen much of you at all outside of our regular card games. What have you been up to?" 

"Really want to know?"

She laughed at the sudden child-like excitement that materialized instantly across his face.

"I'm dying to know. Tell me." 

"I'd rather show you." 

Watching the twinkle dance in his eyes, Alexis became more curious than ever. The boy was practically jumping up and down he was so excited. 

"Ok, you're up to something. So show me." 

Zander reached toward his back pocket to make sure his handkerchief was in place because he knew he was fixing to see waterworks like nobody's business. Before Sonny left, he gave him a job to do and it was only just finished the night before. Zander could hardly contain himself enough to get through his classes that day knowing he would be giving Alexis the surprise of her life.

"Come on." 

Rounding the corner Alexis recognized that they were nearing Pier 52 and stopped instantly.

"Zander, what are you up to? Please, it's been such a beautiful afternoon. Don't ruin it for me." 

Turning to face her he made her connect with him in the only way he knew how. 

"Look at me, Alexis. Look at me. You once asked me to trust you. I did and I have never regretted it. Now I am asking you to trust me. Please, just trust me. You know I would never do anything to hurt you. Ok?" 

Watching him plead with her to trust him, her curiosity got the better of her. 

"All right, Zander. Go ahead." 

Alexis' apprehension continued to grow as they made the last turn that would bring them face to face with Sonny's warehouse. The warehouse that claimed the life of her sister a few short weeks ago. Only it wasn't there. Feeling as if her heart would explode, Alexis sank to her knees and absently took the handkerchief Zander was pushing into her hand.

Rather than the pile of rubble she left that fateful day she was now standing in front of the most beautiful park she could ever remember seeing before. It was filled with various colored hydrangeas and a multitude of gardenia bushes. There were newly planted trees next to swing sets, slides and sandboxes. Comfortable wooden benches were placed throughout the park as well. And in the middle of the park there were two life-size statues. Upon closer investigation, Alexis realized the statues were replicas of herself and Kristina; turned slightly towards each other holding hands. 

Reaching down Zander helped her to her feet and led her closer to the statues. At the base of the monument was a stone plaque. 

****

"Welcome to the  
Kristina Carter Cassadine  
Memorial Park  
Where dreams come alive  
and love is cherished.

Fly high my little sister,

Fly high among the clouds  
where sisters never die.

Rest in Peace"

Zander caught Alexis as her knees buckled beneath her. He held her close while she cried. 

Finally bringing her tears under a bit of control she looked up at Zander. 

"He did it, didn't he?" 

There was no reason to ask who she was referring to. Zander knew without giving it a moments thought.

"He left me the instructions on exactly what he wanted. I followed them to the letter. Everything is just the way he wanted it; for you and for her. Kristina was moved here yesterday." 

Alexis was suddenly on alert. There was something wrong. Something Zander just said didn't sound right. Raising her eyes to his and taking hold of his lapel she asked... 

"He left you instructions? Where is he, Zander?" 

Watching Zander duck his head and turn his face away from her, she knew he was hiding something from her. Tightening her hold on him she jerked him toward her as fear of the unknown began to fill her. 

"Please, Zander, tell me and don't you dare lie to me. Where's Sonny? Zander, where is Sonny?" 

"Alexis, I honestly don't know. He left two weeks ago." 

Not letting go of him she lowered her head to rest on Zander's shoulder. He did it again. Why couldn't she learn? Why couldn't she just accept that Sonny was not meant to be a part of her life? Regardless of how much it would hurt she voiced the questions that were racing through her mind.

"Why? Why Zander? Why did he leave me again?" 

Putting an arm around her he cupped her chin with his other hand and lifted her face to meet his. With love and compassion he answered her as truthfully as he could. 

"To protect you. Alexis, and please don't ask me any more questions. I gave him my word and as much as you mean to me, it is more important that he be able to trust that I will keep my word to him. I need to prove to him, he can trust me again?" 

Her fear grew dramatically at his response. Something wasn't adding up. Remembering the past couple of weeks and the daily news reports, Alexis suddenly realized what Sonny must be trying to do. If she was right… then he probably wouldn't be able to come back. Looking into Zander's eyes she knew that if she pushed just the right buttons he would give up enough information for her to know if she was right or not. 

"Can you at least tell me when he is coming back... if he is coming back?" 

"He will come back when he can? Now come on, let's take a walk around Kristina's park." 

She was right. And Sonny probably wouldn't be coming back to Port Charles. Alexis knew she would have to accept his final decisions and go on with her life. Their baby girl was now her highest priority and she owed it to Sonny to give her the best that she could. And maybe someday, when there was no longer a reason to stay away, Sonny would be able to come home and find a family waiting for him that he never expected. Tucking away her broken heart for a quieter more private time, Alexis allowed Zander to lead her around Port Charles newest memorial park and she savored every moment, every blossom, every child's excited cry. She basked in the last and best gift that Sonny would ever leave her.

Zander knew that his answer may have been giving Alexis false hope, but he had to give her something. He couldn't let her believe that Sonny walked out on her again. She deserved to know that he loved her enough to risk his life for her. And if he didn't hear from Sonny by the end of the day, then Zander would sit down with Alexis and give her Sonny's final message to her. He would tell Alexis that Sonny died loving her.

But for now, he just wanted her to enjoy Sonny's gift. Putting his arm around her they walked in silence around the park. He never let go of her and patiently waited each time she stopped to steady herself and regain control of her emotions. Making their final trip around the park they stopped in front of the statue once more. He watched as Alexis lay a kiss on her fingertips then pressed them to the cheek of the image of Kristina. He barely heard her whisper. 

"See you tonight, Kristina." 

He watched her smile to herself and turn, ready to return home. He didn't expect her next comment.

"Have I told you lately how much I adore you, Zander?" 

He couldn't help the blush that spread across his face.

"Look, we're in public. Can you leave the mush at home?" 

"Not this time. I want the world to know just how special you are. Come here." 

Zander resigned himself to yet another hug and reached for his cell phone that began to ring just as her arms settled around him. 

Turning to stand beside him while he finished his call Alexis once again took in the sight around her. Kristina would have loved this park. It was everything she would have wanted a park to be. How did Sonny know? Feeling Zander's arm stiffen around her she looked up at him and saw the anguish on his face. 

"Zander?" 

Ending his call, he closed his eyes and prayed that it wasn't true. Shifting slightly he faced Alexis. 

"We have to go." 

"It's Sonny." 

"Yes." 

"How bad is it?" 

"Alexis, it's bad. We have to get to the hospital right now."


	22. Chapter 22

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Chapter 22

Entering the hospital running, Zander and Alexis met Mac Scorpio and Alan Quartermaine coming toward them at a fast pace. Stopping beside Zander, Mac placed his hand on the boys shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. 

"Thanks for getting her here so fast. Hey, Alexis." 

Alexis was panicking… but as usual, her attention to details was kicking in.

"Mac, you need to call his wife." 

His answer floored her.

"Alexis, he doesn't have a wife. He sent me these a week and a half ago and told me to make sure you got them if anything happened to him. It is his divorce decree from Carly and his will... naming you his sole beneficiary." 

Accepting the documents Mac was handing her she shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs that were preventing Mac's words from sinking in. She looked toward Zander hoping for some kind of confirmation. 

Alan remained quiet for as long as he dared and then gently interrupted the conversation. 

"Alexis, Mac tells me that you are the only one that Sonny will listen to. He has slipped into a coma and I'm not having any luck with getting a response of any kind out of him. The problem is not his injuries. His body will heal. It will take some time, but it will heal. At the moment he is partially paralyzed, but I honestly believe that it is only temporary. The problem we are facing is that he doesn't seem to have any will to live. If we can't get through to him somehow then he will simply slip away from us. I need you to go talk to him. Say whatever you have to, but he has to want to live or we lose him." 

Her mind was racing so fast across everything she learned over the past hour that Alexis was finding it difficult to remain calm. Looking at Alan, then Mac and at last toward Zander, Alexis finally accepted the responsibility they were laying at her feet. It was up to her to bring Sonny back. Returning her eyes to Alan, she nodded once slipping her hand into Zander's.

"Would you take me to him, Alan? Zander, please, come with me. I need you with me." 

Alexis stopped just outside of Sonny's hospital room and looked intently into Zander's eyes.

"Help me stay strong, Zander. He doesn't need me falling apart on him." 

Tenderly squeezing Alexis' hand within his own, Zander knew for the first time in his life what it felt like to be part of a real family. 

"I'm right here, Alexis. I won't leave you unless you ask me to. Whatever you need, I'm here." Leaning down he gently placed a kiss on her cheek and opened the door for her. 

Stepping inside the door Alexis gasped and felt herself begin to lose control. Clutching at Zander she steadied herself and moved forward. Gazing at the man who lay in the bed she barely recognized him. 

His beautiful face had been beaten so badly it was almost impossible to find an area that was not bloodied or bruised. There was a long jagged scar down the left side of his cheek and his right arm and left leg were in casts. Hearing the door open again behind her, she briefly looked over her shoulder to find Mac entering the room. She questioned him as her eyes returned to Sonny.

"Tell me what happened Mac. I need to know. Does he need a lawyer?" 

"Not this time, Alexis. I don't think he will be requiring your particular type of defense ever again." 

"What do you mean, Mac? Please tell me what is going on." 

Mac stepped closer to her and took both of her hands in his. Leading her away from the bed he sat down on the couch that rested against the wall and pulled her down with him.

"Alexis, Sonny is clean. There is not a complaint file anywhere in the city or the country on him. He's as clean as a newborn baby. I've seen to that." 

Alexis was having a hard time following Mac. She let her eyes wander toward Sonny and winced at the sight of him. 

"Go on, Mac. Tell me the rest." 

"The waterfront is clean. There is no longer an mob-controlled organization in Port Charles. He cleaned it out. And as you can see, he paid a pretty big price for it. That's why he's here. He put his life on the line to clean up Port Charles. He turned state's evidence against the five families. He handed over to the FBI all of his contacts and then he went after them himself. He hasn't had that much sleep in the past two weeks. He was on go non-stop. He hooked up with me by phone every chance he got. And he called to check on you everyday. The man has been through hell. And he did it alone. He refused to let me help. Said he wouldn't put anyone else's life in danger. Too many people had paid the price for his arrogance and pride. It was now his turn to do what had to be done, whatever the cost." 

Alexis bowed her head and let the tears fall. He did it for her, for what he had cost her. She knew it. Glancing up at Zander she saw his tears quietly falling as he sat beside Sonny holding his friends hand. 

Turning back to Mac, she leaned forward, laid her hand on one cheek and kissed him on the other. Straightening she smiled tenderly at Mac. 

"Thank you, Mac. I owe you big time. I guess it's my turn to go to work now. We can't let Port Charles lose such an upright citizen as Sonny Corinthos now, can we?" 

Squeezing his hand once more she got up and went to stand by Zander. Placing her hand on top of the one that still held on to Sonny's she brought Zander's face around to her and waited for him to raise his eyes. 

"How much of this did you know about, Zander?" 

"Enough. This is the first time I have seen or heard from him in two weeks. I knew what he was planning. But, I made a promise to him. I swore I'd keep you safe." 

"Tell me, Zander. I need to know what he said and did the last time you saw him. I need to understand what happened that would cause him to take such an action as this." 

"It started with the video tape I brought to you. I stole it from the penthouse to bring to you, but I couldn't make myself not tell him what I did. He was trying to trusting me again. I couldn't lie to him, Alexis. So I went to him, told him what I did and why. I… I heard you crying, I heard you talking to Kristina and I heard you screaming because of a nightmare. I told him. I told him you were hurting. He called Mac and told him what he was going to do. After Mac left the penthouse, Sonny asked me to take a walk with him. He took me to Kristina's grave. He… He talked to her and apologized for what he did to her and to you and he promised her he would take care of you, no matter what it took. That last day he set up a checking account for me and left the instructions for how he wanted the park done. Then he turned and walked away. The last thing he said was, 'If everything works according to plan I'll see you in a couple of weeks... If not, then tell her I died loving her.' That was the last time I saw him... until now." 

"Oh, Zander." As Alexis listened to Zander relate the events of the last time he saw Sonny her hand had crept over to softly lay upon Sonny's heart. 

"Leave me alone with him, Zander. I need to talk to him alone. Do you mind?" 

"No, I don't mind. I'll be right outside the door if you need me." 

Hearing the door close behind Zander and Mac, Alexis lay her head down on the pillow beside Sonny. 

"I'm here, Sonny. I'm here. I need you to wake up. I need you to wake up so I can talk to you. Sonny, please wake up for me."


	23. Chapter 23

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Chapter 23

__

Wandering listlessly through the fog he was in, Sonny found himself just waiting to slip into nothingness; praying the end would come soon. Suddenly aware that he was not alone, he heard his name being called.

**__**

'Sonny, come this way. Come see.'

Following the voice, the fog began to separate in front of him with each step he took. As the last of the fog rolled away he found himself at the entrance of the park he had dreamed of building for Kristina and Alexis. 

Desperately needing to see her face just one last time he entered the park and moved to stand within reach of the statue that stood in the center of the park. Smiling regretfully he touched the cheek of the image of Alexis and jumped slightly at the sound of his name being called again. Turning to face the direction the voice came from he found Kristina sitting on a bench underneath a spray of hydrangeas. Approaching her hesitantly he sat down beside her, guilt ridden for what he had cost her but needing her to know that he had done what he promised her he would do. 

'I did my best to try to make it better for her. It's done now. She can rest. She is safe now, Kristina.' 

**__**

'You were wonderful, Sonny. I knew there was something good in you. There had to be or my sister would never have fallen so hard for you. But, you are not finished yet. You have to go back. You have to look into her eyes and make things right with her. You told her on several occasions that you needed her. Words, Sonny; words you used more often than not to alleviate her fears or to distract her from a conversation you did not want to have. Now you know just how real those words are to you. You do need her, but Sonny, she needs you too. I have seen my sister's heart and it is filled with you. You have to go back.'

'I can't Kristina. I've cost her too much. I can't hurt her anymore. I love her too much to do that.'

****

'Look, Sonny. Look down.'

Following her eyes he looked down at his chest as a shadow fell over his heart. Meeting Kristina's eyes again he questioned what he saw. 

'What is it? Where did it come from?' A thought burst into his mind and he asked, hoping for the answer and yet dreading it. 'Is she finally free of me?'

**__**

'No Sonny, this is your beginning. This is where you start. The shadow you see is my beautiful sister's hand resting above your heart. She is waiting for you to come back to her. Don't disappoint her. Do not give her another reason to regret the choices she has made in her life. She needs to be loved; she deserves to be loved. She has already suffered enough in her life. Go... love her. Be with her... Have a happy life.'

He watched Kristina stand and slowly walk away. Just before she left his sight she turned once more,

****

'You are everything I could ever have wanted for my sister. And I think she is ready now, big brother. Take care of yourself.

****************

Alexis still lay with her head on the pillow beside Sonny cradling his heart with her hand. Not knowing what else to do, she called out to Kristina.

"Kristina?" 

**__**

"I'm here." 

"Can you help me? This is just a bit more than I can handle alone. Look at him, Kristina. What do I do? How do I get through to him? How do I bring him back to me?" 

**__**

"Love him. Love him with all of your heart. Talk to him. He's there. He just needs a little help. Tell him what is in your heart. You can do this. Remember, I know the strength you hold within you. Just talk to him, Alexis." 

Leaning forward Alexis put her elbow on the bed beside his pillow and rested her head in her hand. Watching for any sign of waking she poured her heart out for him... just for his ears alone. 

"Sonny, can you hear me? I need to talk to you. I need to tell you what you mean to me, what my heart can no longer hide. No games, no dancing around each other. Just the truth. Do you know that I have loved only three men in my life outside of my family? It's true. There was Ned, and you know how that turned out. Then there is Jax, my best friend and Zander. Well see there, I miscounted, but you wouldn't know that would you. There is of course, you. Of all the men I have loved in my life, you were the only one I felt complete with... the most comfortable with. You took my life and turned it upside down and even though you infuriated me most of the time, I couldn't bear to be away from you. You gave me so much more than anyone else ever did before. I was free to be myself with you; I was comfortable with who I was, what I was. With us, we were who we were without judgments, without condemnation. I was a very competent attorney with a dangerously questionable client who was my friend, my lifeline. Do you know how extraordinary that is? Do you know that you and I have broken all the rules that were ever associated with relationships? Did you know that I left my heart with you when I moved out of the penthouse? Closing that door was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I can say it now, Sonny. Can I say it out loud for you? Will you hear me?" 

Moving her head a little closer to Sonny's ear, she breathed life into the words that she had hid from him and cherished in her heart so long. 

"I love you. I love you, Sonny, with all of my heart I love you." 

Closing her eyes she kissed him tenderly on his forehead. 

"Alexis?" 

Rising slowly afraid her mind was playing tricks on her, she found Sonny's eyes open and looking at her. 

"Sonny?" 

"Hey, beautiful." 

"Hi, handsome." 

"Not so handsome anymore." 

Leaning closer Alexis spoke gently with a twinkle in her eye. 

"I have this overwhelming urge to kiss you. Would you mind?" 

Looking into her eyes he saw what his heart had wished for, prayed for. There was no hate, no pain. She looked at him with total acceptance. Her beautiful brown eyes were dancing just as they had that night in Puerto Rico. Looking a little more intently he finally saw what he was looking for. There, hiding just behind her acceptance... peeking around the last vestiges of denial... waiting for him, there was the love he had longed to see in her eyes. Releasing a heavy sigh he brought his free hand up to cover hers, which still lay above his heart. 

"Kiss me, Alexis. Hold me. Put your arms around me and hold me. Don't ever let me go." 

"I don't want to hurt you." 

"You won't. You couldn't." 

Alexis leaned over and kissed him. She melted into him and knew in that moment that she had come home. She put everything she felt for him into that one kiss. Losing herself in the feel of him she unconsciously moved to lay beside him on the bed and touched as much of his body as she could with her own. Hearing him groan she broke the kiss and realized what she had done, where her need had led her. 

"Oh Sonny, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you? I didn't... I just wanted... You're hurt... What is wrong with me...?" 

Feeling her try to move away from him, he held tighter to her hand that still lay above his heart. 

"Alexis, breathe honey. Stay where you are. You did not hurt me." 

"But, you... you made a sound.." 

"I probably did... What did it sound like to you, Alexis?" 

"I thought I hurt you..." 

"That's not what I asked you. What did it sound like?" 

Frowning in confusion Alexis studied him. 

"What do you mean? It sounded like you were in pain." 

"Well, I guess I probably was. But, it wasn't from your body touching mine. It was because my body was finally touching yours again. When you lay down beside me, my body remembered you. The sound you heard was simply my body remembering you." 

Suddenly shy of the direction the conversation was taking and knowing that this was neither the time nor the place she kissed him again quickly and moved back to sit on the stool beside the bed. Not willing to lose contact she kept her hand beneath his lying just above his heart. She couldn't force herself to let go of him yet. 

"Um... there is a frightened boy outside that needs to see you. Needs to know you are ok. He kept every promise he made to you, Sonny. And I need to get Alan in here to check you out too. Are you up for it?" 

"Yeah, I need to see Zander too. But, we aren't finished with this, Alexis. Not by a long shot." 

Moving the lock of hair back that had fallen across his forehead she bent to kiss him once more. 

"I know, Sonny. I know." 

Walking to the door she opened it just enough to catch sight of Zander who had turned instantly at the sound of movement behind him. Rushing toward her he stopped abruptly embarrassed by his anxiousness. Trying to appear cool and in control he sauntered over toward the open door painfully aware that Alexis wasn't buying it. 

"Alexis, is he ok?" 

Laughing gently she cupped his face with one hand and patted him comfortingly on his arm with the other. 

"Come on in, Zander. He wants to see you." 

Feeling his heart swell within his chest, Zander stood a moment looking down into her eyes. 

"Is he ok?" 

"He will be. Don't tire him out too much, ok." 

"I won't." 

Zander walked into the room quietly and cautiously. Stopping by the side of the bed he laid his hand on Sonny's shoulder. 

"Hey, man. You ok?" 

"Hey, Zander. I'll be fine. I hear you've been busy." 

"Yeah, a good friend of mine left me a pretty tall order to fill. But, I did it. All of it." 

"I'm proud of you, Zander. Has she seen it yet?" 

"Yeah, just a little while ago. It didn't look like you were gonna... um. I should have taken two handkerchiefs with me. It turned out great, Sonny. You have to see it." 

"I already have. Thank you for taking care of her. I owe you." 

"No, you don't. We both did what we had to do. Thanks for giving me another chance. I did my best because I knew you were depending on me. I grew up a lot the last couple of weeks. I mean I had to... I had some pretty big shoes to fill. So, I just wanted to say thanks." 

Watching the two men reconnect the bond they had shared Alexis reached for another tissue. Concerned that Sonny was over doing it she stepped closer and put her arm around Zander's waist and reached down to take hold of Sonny's hand. What little time it had taken for her to call Zander in had left her desperate for Sonny's touch again. 

"Zander, he needs to rest now. Could you find Alan for me and tell him our buddy here is awake?" 

"Sure thing. Fast as I can." 

He winked at her and left quickly to find Alan looking back once just before the door closed behind him. He grinned widely at the sight of Sonny and Alexis kissing. Nodding in satisfaction he grabbed the nearest nurse looked her dead in the eye and stated emphatically "Mission Accomplished" and proceeded to plant a kiss of his own on the surprised nurse's cheek before racing off to find Alan. 


	24. Chapter 24

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Chapter 24 

Alexis sat beside Sonny watching him sleep. Not wanting to lose contact with him for a minute she laid her hand on his heart again figuring it was probably the only place that wasn't hurting him at the moment. And needless to say the rhythmic beating of his heart was music to her soul. His injuries were extensive, but like Alan had assured her, none were life threatening. The swelling around his spine had already started to recede and Sonny was beginning to rebound from the temporary paralysis. 

"Kristina?" 

Not hearing her sister's normal response, Alexis tried again. 

"Kristina?" 

Still not hearing an answer Alexis leaned forward anxiously and called out again a little louder. 

"Kristina, please..." 

**__**

"I'm here, Alexis." 

"You scared me. What took you so long?" 

**__**

"Do you remember when I told you that I would be here for as long as you needed me?" 

Dreading what she feared was coming Alexis answered weakly. 

"I remember." 

**__**

"It's time for you to let me go, Alexis." 

"No. I can't. I won't. I need you. Don't leave me, Kristina. Please, don't leave me." 

**__**

"You are strong enough to stand on your own now. And you have Sonny now. You have to let me go." 

"No Kristina, I will not let you leave me. I will not be separated from you again. I just can't. I won't." 

**__**

"My beautiful sister, we will never be separated. I will be in your heart always. But, it's time for you to move on. You have to let go." 

"Please Kristina, no." 

**__**

"Alexis, Sonny has given you a gift. He has transformed his life for you. He deserves all of you. It would not be fair to him to only have a part of you. If you hang on to me, then in those times when trouble comes you will turn to me instead of to him. Don't do that to him. Don't do that to yourself. Be everything to each other. Remember, I will be in that part of your heart that you hold your most precious memories. I'll be with mama again. Let me go, Alexis. Please." 

"Kristina, I will miss you so much. How can I let go of my little sister? 

**__**

"By leaning on Sonny. By leaning on your friends. Let them help you. Honor them by allowing them to help you. They love you so much. But, you have only allowed them to see a small part of you. They have no understanding of the woman you really are because you have kept yourself hidden from them. Give them a chance to know the woman I know you are. Allow those you hold close in your heart to see the woman I see. They will love you all the more, just as I do." 

"Kristina I am more because of you. You opened a door for me. There is light now where there once was darkness. I see the world more clearly because I see it through your eyes now as well as my own. I never realized how much I was missing until you blew into my life with your chaos, your openness and freedom. You gave me a hope that I have never had before. I know you are right, that I must let you go. My mind knows it's true, but I'm having a little trouble with my heart. So, one last time I must ask a favor of you. When I call out to you, as I know I will, love me enough to stay silent. Can you do that for me, Kristina? In time, I will do what I know is necessary." 

**__**

"I can love you enough to do that. I always have, Alexis. Keep my niece safe and tell her about me. Take care, my beautiful sister and know that I am with you always. And never forget I came looking for my sister, and found my life. I love you, Alexis." 

"I love you, Kristina. Watch over us. I will always be thinking of you." 

Reaching toward Alexis with his good arm, Sonny laid his hand down on hers where it covered his heart. Caressing the back of her hand he waited for her to look up. He heard her words to her sister and had let his own tears fall unrestrained. As she raised her head he saw the deep abiding loss once more in her eyes and shut his own against it. Not wanting to leave her to grieve alone again, he opened his eyes and gently pulled at her hand to draw her complete attention. 

"I talked to her." 

"What?" 

"While I was in the coma. She was there and we talked." 

Moving closer to Sonny, Alexis pulled his hand close to her heart and waited. 

"She sent me back to you. I was there waiting to die... wanting to die. But, she wouldn't let me. She told me, 'Sonny, that is my beautiful sister's hand lying on your heart. She is waiting for you to come back to her. Don't disappoint her. Go... love her. Be with her... Have a happy life.' She forgave me, Alexis. I have never wanted or needed forgiveness from anyone as much as I needed it from her. But, I need your forgiveness as well. I need you to tell me that you don't hate me for what I did, for what I had become." 

"Sonny, shhhh... Don't upset yourself. You need to remain calm. How could I not forgive you? After all that you have done, for loving me, for making things right with Kristina. You gave me the one gift that will forever keep my sister's memory alive not only for me, but for everyone that knew her. You gave me a beautiful park. A living, breathing memorial to my sister. But, most of all I love you because you gave me you." 

"I didn't know what else to do. I had to make it right somehow. I couldn't bring her back to you, but I could memorialize the place that led to her departure." 

"It is perfect, Sonny. And a few months from now when you're back home and able to get around, we'll take a walk to the park and introduce our daughter to her Aunt Kristina." 

"Have you named our daughter yet?" 

Growing very still, Alexis ducked her head and peered at Sonny through her bangs afraid of the anger she felt certain she would see in him. 

"You know?" 

"Of course, I know. You didn't really think I bought that story about Ashton, did you? I mean I know I've had my head up my butt for the past few months, but Alexis I know you. You would not have gone to Ned after what we shared." 

"But, why? You never said a word. You just accepted it. I lied to you. For the first time, I didn't tell you the truth." 

"To protect my daughter. You did what you had to do to protect what was most precious to you. That's what I have been doing for the past two weeks. Not just for you, but for my daughter as well. Alexis we did what we had to do to protect each other and our child. Do you know how much I love you for that? Have I told you yet? Have I told you what having you in my life means to me? Yes, I heard every word you said to me. Now it's my turn. Do you know that I wake up in the morning yearning for you? I can't even find rest at night because you haunt my dreams. Can I tell you that for the first time in my life because of you I am proud of the man who lies before you right now? Can I tell you that now, finally I can tell you what my heart has known all along and my head has refused to hear? Alexis, I love you. With everything that I am and everything I ever want to be. I love you. I have never known a love this intense before. It is so big and consuming that words are not enough. I know you want and need words, Alexis. But, I just don't have them. All I can do is tell you I love you and spend the rest of my life proving it to you. And I am finally free to tell the world. I want the world to know that I choose you, first and always." 

Lifting her head from his shoulder where it had fallen as he spoke of his love for her she ran her hand through his hair to the back of his head, lifting gently she brought him to her and kissed him. All of the pain she endured for him, endured because of him was healed in that one single kiss. She let it all go. Here he was openly laying his heart down for her... no one else but her. The thought staggered her. Sonny loved her. How long had she dreamed of this moment. Leaning back she melted into the joy she found in his eyes and fell peacefully into the depth of his love. 

"Kristina Michaela Adele Davis-Corinthos." 

"What?" 

"You asked me if I had named our daughter yet? I have. Kristina Michaela Adele Davis-Corinthos." 

Trying to wipe the tears away that stung the cuts and raw skin of his face Sonny gazed adoringly at his future wife. 

"Are you sure?" 

Standing and once again settling herself on the bed beside him she leaned closer and just before meeting his lips with her own she whispered, 

"As sure as my answer will be when and if you ever decide to ask me to marry you. I mean, what's a newly acquired appreciation for commitment worth if it's not exercised, hmm?" 

Seeing the peace and contentment that her sister was so deserving of finally grace her face, Kristina moved into the part of her heart that was most special to Alexis and became her sister's most cherished memory. 

**__**

"My love is with you always and here I will wait until we meet again."


End file.
